


Between the Light and the Dark - Sander's Sides

by Esme_The_Writer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being a Jerk, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25427311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esme_The_Writer/pseuds/Esme_The_Writer
Summary: Virgil left the dark sides in fury and fear, but over time he began to feel at home in the light dimension, to the point where he no longer feared his past tormentors. He was done with them.They were not quite done with with him, however.Except for the prologue, this takes place directly after 'Accepting Anxiety'. All characters belong to Thomas Sanders.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 104
Kudos: 81





	1. Prologue - A True Smile

Virgil spent most of his time with the other dark sides. None of them were people he would choose to spend time with, but they were all people he deserved to spend time with. He was Anxiety, after all. He caused pain and misery, no matter how necessary he was. The light realm, no matter how inviting it looked from a distance, was forbidden territory, out of bounds for a disease like himself. It was for people who helped Thomas. The dark realm, where Virgil was forced by his own self-loathing to reside, was home to those like him. Those who Thomas would reject, should they ever take a seat at the table above.

Janus, deceit, ruled the realm. On the outside, he was kind, and sometimes Virgil chose not to look any further than the outside. But he was Anxiety; it was his job to see the horrible truth. Janus did care for Virgil, but the easiest way to keep Anxiety under control was manipulating him. The lies that spilled out his mouth were littered with truths just to make Virgil feel safe enough to stay, and the earnest tone with which he spoke bordered so closely to sarcasm that each conversation sent Virgil into a spin, so that any inclination of speaking against Janus was drowned by fear. Despite the lies, to Virgil Janus meant safety. He may be cruel, but he ensured that whenever Thomas needed Virgil, he heard him, and if the light sides began to get fed up with Virgil's constant worries, it was Janus who soothed them into leaving Virgil alone.

Remus was both worse and better. He didn't do anything that threatened Virgil directly, but every idea that spurted from him was enough to invoke terror. His untamable need to steal every shred of sanity from those around him was enough to install fear in everyone, especially Anxiety. However, he was manageable. Remus never lied; there was never any doubt to his intentions. He may represent everything Virgil tried to keep Thomas safe from, but he also allowed a break from the constant need to work out what someone meant when they tried to keep their meanings hidden. Virgil always knew what Remus wanted and that he would do anything to achieve his desires. He was impulsive; that was his whole gig. Despite his shortcomings, he was Virgil's closest friend. Of course, he was not the sort of friend he wanted, but he was the best of the options available.

The worst, of course, was The Other. This side spent his time in the shadows, simply watching in his putrid orange haze, or hiding away in his own corner of the dark realm. Even Remus feared The Other. Janus kept a harsh leash on him, never letting him leave the realm and barely allowing him any impact on Thomas himself, but it was The Other that held Thomas's darkest thoughts. No matter how hard they tried to pretend he wasn't there, he was as important as the rest of them, and they all felt his impact, including Virgil. The Other terrified him more than anything, more than he could even begin to put into words. The Other was what pushed him over the edge.

The thing about the dark realm was that it was almost never ending. The light sides needed to be close enough to Thomas that they could help him wherever he needed it. Each of them had a room, but that was all the space they were allowed. This meant the dark sides could retreat as deep as they wanted into Thomas's mind and make use of the space they found there. Remus, the Duke, had a castle in which to live, where music poured from the twisting towers and the screaming of make-belief torture echoed around the realm. Janus took a far more civilised lifestyle, with a beautiful house in the middle of a silent forest The Other burrowed deep into the very flesh of Thomas's mind, and none of them knew what he had built beneath the ground.

Virgil didn't care for the creativity of Remus or the style of Janus; he just wanted safety. His home was small and simple, enough for him to keep to himself when he needed to. The plain, square building was surrounded by a maze that stretched for miles in every direction. Only Virgil knew how to navigate it. Remus had tried numerous times to break through, as had Janus although he denied it, but neither of them had managed to crack the puzzle. Virgil made sure he left his house enough that they wouldn't feel a need to impose on him, but within his maze was the only place where he felt truly comfortable, truly safe. And it was, for years and years it was.

* * *

Virgil paced up and down the hallway of his house. The walls were made of black stone, simply to try and make himself feel safe. He knew they were just as breakable as anything else made by his own careless hands, but it created the illusion of safety. He was trying to keep himself calm, but it was impossible. Something was happening to Thomas. He didn't know what; he didn't want to leave the house to check, but tension crawled along every bone and his breath seemed harder and harder to force through his lungs. Whatever Thomas was doing, it was bad and it was Virgil's job to get him out of there.

He felt something brush the walls of his maze, far far away. Janus. He could feel Deceit's pull, trying to calm him, trying to convince him to leave the house with that snake-like charm. The gentle tug made barely an impact. Whatever was happening out there, in the real world, was so much worse than Janus realised. It must be. Otherwise Virgil wouldn't feel so damn sick.

Again, the brush, this time slightly more insistent. Virgil closed his eyes and shuddered, trying to shake the feeling away. He was here to keep Thomas safe, whether he liked it or not, and whatever Janus had to say about the situation could wait. He wasn't some issue to be controlled, like Remus. He wasn't some wholly evil force. He was good for Thomas, and he needed to do this.

The next impact was jarring. Janus wasn't just brushing against the walls of the maze that Virgil had spent so long weaving around himself; he was trying to break through.

"Wait." Virgil choked, running to his door and bolting it shut with a lock conjured out of fear. "Just give me a minute, Deceit."

"Virgil." The sing-song voice echoed through the maze, the smile that twisted it shimmering through every syllable. "Come out, come out Virgil. I promise you, Thomas is safe. You can leave him alone. It's going to be alright."

The words only made him panic more. "You're lying." He shouted at the door, hating how much fear the snake could still inflict on him, after all this time. "Why would Thomas be so scared if he wasn't in trouble? He needs to feel my impact. I need to keep him safe."

"I know what's best for Thomas, Virgil, I can keep him safe. He's taking an exam at the moment; he needs to feel pressure so he can do his best work. You, spiralling his emotions out of control, are going to make him fail."

"You're lying." Virgil said again, but the fight had gone out of him. He slumped against the door, feeling the tension ebb out of him but by bit. Did he really do that to Thomas? Could he really have blown this exam for him?

"Come out Virgil, let me take care of you." That was what Janus did. When Virgil was being over emotional, he would talk to him, or simply sit with him. They would read in silence or sneak into the light realm and watch TV through Thomas's eyes, and it normally worked. Today, though, Virgil just wanted solitude.

"I'm going to stay here, Deceit." He said, softly, trying to convince Janus that it was safe to leave him. "I just want to be alone, okay?"

Janus hesitated, and Virgil was beginning to wonder if he had left before the snake spoke again. "I can't let you do that Virgil. You need to calm down. I can still feel you, Anxiety, and if I can, so can Thomas. Now, come out because I really want to have to drag you out of there."

The sarcasm was obvious in his voice; he really didn't want to have to force Virgil out of the house, but the threat was there.

Part of him urged himself to listen to Janus and leave, but he couldn't move. His whole body had frozen at Deceit's words. His eyes were wide and locked on the opposite wall, his hands hugging his legs close to him as if the smaller he could make himself the safer it was.

His house was safety. His maze was insurance. They shouldn't come here. This space was his, it was the one place where he could be sure that no one would bother him, and yet they were coming.

A shudder pounded through his bones as the maze took an impact. Janus was coming. Deceit was coming for him, in the very place where he felt safest, and there was nothing he could do about it. Virgil lent forwards, hiding his head behind his knees and whimpered, waiting for terror to take him, so when the tendrils of panic took firm hold he almost welcomed it.

* * *

A hand dragged slowly across his shoulders, drawing him out of the trance he had forced himself into. He looked up, straight into the eyes of Deceit. He was kneeling in front of him, the scaled half of his face emotionless and the human side twisted with pretend pity. The door hung off its hinges behind him, the wind from the maze blowing through the opening.

"You're safe, Virgil. You'll always be safe with me." The voice didn't seem to even come from Deceit, but emanated from the walls around him, from the realm itself. 

Lies. It was all lies. He scrambled away, shaking his head vigorously.

"You're lying." He spat, forcing himself to look his tormentor in the eyes. "I'm not safe with you. There's no safe here. I'm not safe, and Thomas isn't safe, because of you Deceit."

The snake's eyes creased with what looked like hurt. Virgil had always refused to speak Janus' name, no matter how much Deceit implored him. It was too trusting, too familiar to the man who held him so tightly on a leash.

"Don't be so hard, Angsty." laughed another voice, and Virgil spun to see Remus standing there, his height even more intimidating in the enclosed space, his morning-star spinning in his hand. Virgil jumped to his feet as Creativity continued to laugh. "He's just trying to help. What did he ever do to hurt you?"

"Leave me alone. I was just trying to help. I've stopped now. I just wanted to be left alone."

"Virgil-" Janus started, but was cut off by a third voice. Laughter. It wasn't the harsh chuckle of Deceit or the roaring cackle of creativity, but the sing-song giggle of a young girl, like a sound effect from a horror movie.

The Other was here.

The Other stood in the house that Virgil had deemed safe, that he had convinced himself was safe. Nowhere was safe. Janus had told him it was safe, but he'd lied. Remus had said he would be safe with him, but Remus was happy to break Virgil's boundaries when it came down to it. It was enough.

"I'm leaving." He spurted the words without thinking them through, but Virgil knew he had made the decision a long time ago. The light realm called to him without a voice and urged him into its arms with a true smile. No one had ever shown him a true smile.

Not trusting himself to look into the eyes of those around him a final time, blocking out Janus's desperate calls and Remus's confused sounds, he walked out the broken door. He knew Janus could stop him if he really wanted to, Deceit could make him do anything, but he didn't. Virgil continued, breaking into a run over the wreckage of his maze, and began his accent upwards, up the twisting staircase to the forefront of Thomas's mind. He would take his seat at the table. He had cast off his leash, and now he was free.


	2. Chapter One - Cookies and Makeup

Virgil couldn't decide where to put the card. First he put it on his bedside table, so it would be the first thing he saw when he woke up every morning, but then he had the idea that if it was going to be the very first thing he saw, he should attach it to the ceiling. Halfway through his hunt for blue-tac, he realised he never actually slept on his back, so he was risking forgetting to look at it at all if it was on the ceiling. His next conclusion was to put it on his wardrobe so when he woke up lying on his side, he would see it then. After about five minutes of trying to balance it on the wardrobe handle, he realised he would have to repeat this routine every single time he opened his wardrobe.

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. This had been a good day; there was nothing to freak out about. He had told them his name, he had taken his place as one of them. He had done everything he'd always been told would end badly, and nothing bad had happened. It felt like one last Fuck You in Deceit's face, and Virgil couldn't help but smile as he realised quite how far he'd come. It had been so long since he'd been viewed as useful, so long since he'd viewed himself as useful. He should stick the Yerkes Dodson Curve on his wall as well, but for now he needed to focus on Patton's card.

It was so childishly, heart-wrenchingly nice, easily the nicest thing anyone had ever given him. The colouring was perfectly in the lines, the effort put into the drawing was so obvious in every scribbled stroke of crayon. Patton had even drawn in his fringe. Virgil couldn't stop smiling as he traced a finger over the pictures, taking his time to appreciate the sun glasses on the sun, which he knew would annoy Logan should he ever see it, and Morality's attempt to make the heart look like it had a light shining onto it.

In the end, he put it on his mirror, slotting it into the frame over his My Chemical Romance poster. Somehow, the card meant so much more than the band at this point. He would never have thought he could care about something so simple this much. The whole dark persona that he had used to frighten Thomas into listening to him, the eye-shadow and sudden appearances suddenly seemed futile, childish even. He didn't need to scare Thomas, not in the majority of cases anyway, he just needed to talk to him. Why had it taken so long to see that?

The card stood out in his room as the brightest thing there. That seemed fitting. Maybe in time he could change some of the rest of the room to match. He could replace the hanging, blinking light-bulb with something that actually worked. Maybe change his wardrobe, he had always wondered how he would look in purple. He could get new curtains - something less scary for Patton.

That thought made him pause. Would he need to make changes to accommodate the other sides, now that he was 'one of them'? What would he be expected to participate in now? He was happy that they had a greater understanding of his intentions, but that didn't mean he had changed at all. The others' new attitude towards him would mean he didn't have to force his opinion on them from here on out, but that didn't mean he would be any less, well, anxious.

What did the other sides do when they weren't helping Thomas? Did they just busy themselves in their rooms, like Virgil had for so long, or did they hang out? He had never explored the light realm, not really. It had been over a year since he'd left the dark sides, since he'd been allowed a seat as the table rather than having to shout his warnings from far, far below in the hope that Thomas would listen, but when he had climbed that staircases and found this room just waiting for him, as if he should have been here the whole time, he hadn't seen the need to look any further. Of course, he had been to the light realm before, a few times with Janus and many times alone, to explore where the light sides lived, but most of the memories were warped by whatever Deceit had wanted him to believe. As time went on, he was realising more and more of his memories were twisted with hidden lies, and the things he'd taken for lies held more truth that he'd ever known.

Tentatively, trying not to consider the possibility that he would have to talk to people, Virgil took one last look at the card and left his room.

To the right of his doorway was the staircase. From this end, it resembled the stairs you would find in a house, with carpeted steps and banisters either side. From bellow, it looked very different, but Virgil didn't need to explore that again.

To his left was a long corridor that stretched far into the distance, until the end was lost from sight. Taking a moment to still himself, Virgil began to walk forwards. The corridor seemed to grow in front of him, wherever it led lost in fog. He had never realised how far away he was until now, and it didn't help to settle his nerves. If Thomas had placed his room so far away from the others, so close to the dark sides, did that mean he didn't want him interacting with the others?

Logan's door seemed to come out of nowhere. One moment, the corridor was endless and empty ahead of him, the next he was standing outside the door. It was painted a deep blue, similar to Logic's tie, with the name 'Logan' scratched into the wood and coloured gold. Someone, Roman, had stuck a post-it note next to the name with 'dork!' written on it. Virgil smirked, but took down the note, scrunching it up in his pocket.

Next was Patton's door. It wasn't light blue, like Virgil would have expected it to be, but instead a cacophony of colours, as if Morality had changed his mind a hundred times through painting the door and didn't bother starting again with each decision. It was nowhere near as neat as Logan's; the paint was faded and scratched in some places. The entire surface of the door was covered with puppy and kitten stickers, or the left-overs of stickers after someone had tried and failed to rip them off. 'Patton' was written in yellow sharpie on a sheet of creased paper and had been stuck to the door with sellotape.

Roman's doors looked so extravagant it wouldn't have looked out of place on the front of a palace. The double doors joined together in an arch at the top and were carved throughout with beautiful swirling patterns. In pure white letters across the top was written 'Prince Roman'. Unable to stop himself, Virgil ran his hand across the chiselled wood. It felt brand new, hell the paint even smelt wet.

Laughter from further up the corridor took his attention, and he turned away from the three doors to find it's source. A few steps up from Roman's door was a forth doorway, but it was just an opening, so there was nothing to keep Virgil hidden as he stumbled into the scene waiting within.

The doorway opened onto what resembled a kitchen, although the only real 'kitchen' parts were an oven and counter-top on which Patton was rolling cookie dough into balls and pressing them flat on a baking tray. On the other side of the room was a sofa covered with blankets and pillows where the Prince and Logic sat, facing each other.

"Stay still!" squawked Roman to Logan, who was frozen in place with a mascara wand dancing in front of his eyes.

"I'm trying." Logan grumbled back, his hands in his lap fiddling with his glasses. "You cannot expect me to stay perfectly still when you are poking me in the eye."

"I'm only doing this because I lost the bet to Patton. You cannot blame me for it."

"I understand that, but I fail to see how you losing the bet means I have to get a makeover. I am losing something, you lose nothing, Patton gains nothing. What is the point?"

"The point is that you're going to look fabulous!"

"Virgil!" Patton squealed, only now catching sight of Anxiety hovering in the doorway. Virgil started, panicking for a moment at the sound of his name. The last person to speak it, before today, had been Janus.

"Um, hi." he shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying to regain control of his speech. His eyes fell back on Roman and Logan. "Roman, why are you tormenting Logic? If he wanted bad makeup, he could have asked Remus."

Roman let out a breathy laugh. "You've not changed that much than. It's not like you could do any better, trash panda."

"Roman!" Patton fussed, hurrying forwards with his baking gloves outstretched. Virgil lifted a hand to stop him, letting a smile cross his face.

"It's alright Pat, I don't mind being compared to a raccoon." He grinned at Roman, feeling himself relax. "I guess I pretty much embody the pest, huh? But yes, I do think I'd do a better job. Move out the way."

He took a couple of strides forwards and Roman obediently moved to one side, watching closely as Virgil searched the scattered make-up on the couch and took a seat, getting to work on Logan.

"What are you doing out here, Kiddo?" asked Patton, sounding happy, "I don't think you've ever come out of your room before."

"Of course I've come out before. I've just never had much to do out here." He took his eyes off Logan for a moment to look around. "What is this place anyway?"

"Do you remember when Thomas read Harry Potter?" asked Logan, sitting perfectly still in front of Virgil.

"No," said Virgil, "I was - I wasn't here when that happened. Up until a year ago, I didn't have any idea what Thomas was doing, just vaguely what he was feeling. Why?"

"Well, I was going to say this room is like the room of requirement, but that comparison won't work if you haven't read the book. In the simplest terms, it's a room that will change to it's users' needs. Sometimes it can be a little tricky to get what you want, and if Thomas is feeling something strongly that can have an effect, but more often than not that is how it works."

"So you want to bake cookies..." said Virgil, sliding his eyes to Patton.

"And it makes you a kitchen with all the ingredients already there!" beamed Morality, turning back to the oven and kneeling to peer at its contents.

"Well that's pretty neat." He let himself smile again, liking the feeling of the expression on his mouth. "We should do a Disney marathon in here at some point, Princey." He said, matter of factly.

Roman didn't respond for a moment. "You'd want to do that, with me?"

"Well, you're making an effort to be nicer to me. I should return the favour. It's something we both enjoy, even if we enjoy different aspects of the films."

"Well, of course I'd enjoy that. Yes we should, we should do that."

Virgil let himself glance at the Prince and was surprised by how suddenly blushed he had become. Maybe he'd never been invited to hang out with a dark side before. Maybe he was nervous that Virgil would be something like Remus.

"And done." Virgil shuffled away from Logan to reveal his handiwork. Normally, he stuck with eye shadow and some foundation, maybe sometimes he added something to his lips, but he'd always enjoyed practising more extravagant work in private, and it shone on Logan. His eyes were framed in a thin blue line, apparent enough to be striking but neat enough to still appear professional. On his lips Virgil had used a nude lipstick that didn't add much effect in itself, but somehow made Logan's overall appearance much cleaner.

"Logan!" Patton squealed, almost jumping up and down with excitement.

"Wow," even Roman looked surprised, "Logan you actually look dateable."

"Was that a flirtation?" asked Logan, tilting his head at Roman.

"What? No, no, I was just complimenting you! Jesus, Logan." Roman ran a hand through his hair, smiling with exasperation.

"You know what we should do?" giggled Patton, his mouth full of cookies, "We should dip your glasses in glitter!"

* * *

Virgil didn't stay long. After the makeup session and a taste of Patton's cookies, he left, exhausted from the heavy day of people. It was a long walk back to his room, after all. As he walked past the others' doors, he had another look at them all, wondering what lay beyond. He paused after Logan's.

There was a new door here.

It looked like something taken off a haunted house. The wood was unpainted and scratched, like something collected from a beach after a shipwreck. Iron bent into spiralling patterns stretched away from the hinges, reaching across the door. Nestled between them, in spiky black writing, was his name. Virgil. Hesitating, daring to hope that he wasn't imaging this, he pushed open the door. The hinges squealed at the movement, but the sound wasn't unpleasant. Beyond lay his room, exactly as he had left it. Patton's card greeted him from his mirror.


	3. Chapter Two - Virgil's Promise

“You always do this!” Shouted Roman, getting to his feet with his hands braced on the table. “You take and you take and you take, with no heed to the well-being of those around you.” He glared at Virgil with tear stained eyes. “I thought we were trying, Virgil. I thought we were going to make an effort to put all the angsty, harmful hate behind us. Why must you deface our friendship so?”

“Roman,” Virgil couldn’t believe he was having to say this, “It is not my fault that you are this bad at monopoly. It’s just a game.”

“You’re wrong.” The Prince declared, “It is so much more than that. This," He lifted the racing car above his head, "This is our friendship.”

Patton had long since gone bankrupt, and now sat back in his seat watching the rest of the game with wide eyes. Every so often, he would look at Virgil in something between fear and awe. Logan was doing well; he had all the stations which provided a steady income for him, but Virgil knew it was only a matter of time before his security fell out from beneath him and he made some stupid trade. As it stood, Logic’s face was creased with a fierce concentration, but he was beginning to panic.

Roman had just landed on one of Virgil’s hotels, and they all knew he didn’t have enough money left to pay off the rent.

“How did you get so good at this game, Virgil?” asked Logan, sorting his properties into neat rows. “Thomas has never put much store in it, which is why the rest of us haven’t had much practise.”

“Well,” Virgil fixed his eyes on the board, trying to seem intensely interested in a chance card. “When I was below, in the other realm, there was never much to do. Here you experience what Thomas is doing in every moment, but before it was just a vague sensation of his feelings, so it could get quite boring. We would play a lot of games, especially Monopoly because it could take days to play.”

“Days?” Patton looked horrified at the very thought.

“We were all very good at it. We knew how to win. When three people are all trying to get the same properties it can get intense.”

Roman looked confused for a moment. “So who did you play it with? It was you, Deceit and -”

“Yeah, we played with Remus as well.”

Silence met his words. Virgil instantly regretted saying anything. What would they think now that they realised he hadn’t just spent the majority of his life with the dark-sides, but he had been one of them too, had played games with them and had considered them his friends.

“You played Monopoly with my brother?” Roman said, slowly, his eyes searching Virgil’s face as if hoping it was a lie.

Virgil gritted his teeth and nodded.

“Well that’s okay, Kiddo.” Patton hurried to break the tension, “You were practically alone down there. If it was me, I would have found friends in whoever I could. You’re up here now, though, and you never have to talk to those - those meanies ever again.”

Virgil smiled gratefully, looking at Patton with appreciation.

“Patton is right.” said Logan curtly. “I can imagine playing board games with Remus was an,” he paused, “interesting experience.”

“You could say that.” Virgil smirked, “We never got very far. He would always flip the board over if someone else was winning. And Deceit used to cheat with every move. I say we played games, but it was more light fighting a war every Friday night.”

“We used to try and get my brother to play games with us, before he left. When we still had hope for him.” Roman scoffed at his own words. “He’d always refuse. Why play with us when he could be tormenting poor Thomas, making his teenage years even worse.”

“It wasn’t his fault.” said Logan, quietly. The three of them all looked at him in surprise.

“Who’s fault was it, Logan?” asked Patton, tentatively.

“Well, a mixture of factors came into play. Roman was the one who made Remus feel like his ideas were bad, which would have made him resentful. Virgil was the one that made sure Thomas had an adverse reaction to his efforts and Deceit is the one who added an heir of mystery there. In some cases that helped, he was able to control Remus to an extent, but in others it worsened Remus’ effect because it created more fear of the unknown.”

“So, what, you’re saying Remus was some innocent little bunny and we all treated him like a demon, so we’re the reason he turned into one?” Roman demanded, staring at Logan.

“Of course not. Remus has never been a bunny of any kind, although I did witness his transform into a rat once.”

“That’s not what we meant.” said Virgil. He couldn’t believe what Logan was saying. Remus represented Thomas’s ‘evil’ creativity. They had reacted in the way anyone with feelings would react to something like that. It wasn’t because of them that Remus was the way he was. “You’re saying that if we hadn’t acted the way normal people act, Remus wouldn’t be a dark side.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all.” Logan insisted, “I’m simply saying that your reactions may have made him worse than he otherwise might have been. He now has a bigger impact on Thomas because of you.”

Without another word, Roman got up and left.

“Wait! Roman, I’m sure he didn’t mean that.” Patton spluttered, caught between following the Prince out of the room and staying to make sure things didn’t escalate any further between Logic and Anxiety.

Virgil decided to save him the trouble.

“Nice going hard-drive.” He shot at Logan before getting up to follow Roman. He knew the name wouldn’t upset Logic; he didn’t want to hurt the side, but Logan needed to realise what he said was hurtful damaging If this whole ‘friendship’ thing was going to work, things needed to change, and after today Logan was on top of that list.

Roman was leaning against the wall of the hallway just outside of the room. He looked surprised when Virgil emerged from the doorway next to him.

“You okay?” Anxiety asked, rubbing his arm. He’d never done the whole ‘comforting’ thing before.

Roman nodded, chewing his lip. He seemed unwilling to meet Virgil’s eyes.

“Look, me and Remus were never friends.” He didn’t know why he felt such an overwhelming urge to explain himself, but he needed to clean the slate that they’d just thrown paint over. “I spent time with him because if I didn’t I would have gone mad, and the only other option was Deceit. With Remus, there were no lies. There were haunting images and horrible questions and he never shut up about sex. Trust me, I didn’t enjoy a moment of it, but with Remus I knew what to expect, and I knew he would respect my boundaries.”

Roman huffed a pained laugh.

“Sex stuff is inside your boundaries?” He asked, casting a doubtful look at Virgil.

“You’d be surprised.” He replied, happy to see the Prince smiling again. He didn’t particularly like Roman, not really. He did think they could be friends, but there was such a big divide between what they both wanted for Thomas. Virgil wanted safety, Roman wanted adventure, and he was willing to risk a lot to get that. Despite that, the Prince was such a valued part of Thomas’s personality. Thomas would be nothing without his acting and his singing; Roman inspired so much of what Thomas was, and Virgil wouldn’t change it in a moment.

“Thanks Virgil.” Roman’s voice was softer than he’d ever heard it. “When Remus left, it hurt. A lot. He was my brother. I knew it was going to happen, that it had to happen for Thomas’ sake, but when he turned away from me and took Deceit's hand - I didn’t realise quite how much he meant to me before he was taken away. I can’t think what he added to my life, but something is missing when he's gone.”

“I get that. He was a horrible friend, he can’t have been a better brother, but he listened and cared, even if he was in no way helpful. He never hid stuff, there was no skirting around the issue with him. If he had an idea, he would share it.”

Silence followed. Virgil hoped he was helping. He didn’t want to compliment Remus, but he wanted to show Roman he understood the confusion he felt. Still, he didn’t want to admit how strongly he missed the Duke. Problems were so much simpler when they arrived through Remus; life had been much simpler before Virgil had climbed those stairs. When the silence dragged on too long, he decided it was time to change the subject.

“Hey, uh, Princey.” He couldn’t be bothered to think of a nickname, or decide whether to use a nice one or not. “You weren’t that terrible at Monopoly. Maybe I could teach you some tactics at some point?”

Roman gave him a hard stare. “Panic, I’m going to be frank with you. I really, really hate board games. If I ever get the roped into that kind of torture again, I’ll build a property on you.” With a parting laugh at his own terrible joke, he disappeared through the double doors into his bedroom. Virgil caught a glimpse of sparkling Christmas lights and posters before the room was shut away and he was left alone.

He returned to his own room, trying to ignore the unease that was building within him. When they argued around Thomas, they were working through things. It wasn’t fun, but it was necessary. Now, though, when Thomas had no part in the conversation, he had no idea what effect their quarrel might have. When Patton had suggested they play a game and Virgil had immediately suggested Monopoly, he hadn’t imagined it ending with Logan defending the Duke, Roman having a heartfelt conversation in the hallway and Patton being left to clean up the mess. That being said, Virgil was already thinking about ways to convince Thomas to play Frustration. The look on Roman’s face alone would be worth it.

* * *

Barely a day passed after the Monopoly incident before Virgil received a timid knock on his door. Pausing to take off his headphones, he got off his bed and cracked the door open.

Patton stood outside, his hands clasped awkwardly behind his back, a sorry smile plastered on his face.

Virgil quickly pulled the door open, worried.   
“What’s wrong?” He asked, fiddling with the inside of his hoodie pocket. He knew he shouldn’t get too invested in whatever problem Morality had come to him with, but he cared too much about Patton to dismiss it altogether.

“Well, it’s Logan.”

Virgil said nothing, waiting for Patton to go on. Patton’s bottom lip quivered for a moment before he burst into speech.

“I know you have a history with Remus and you really want Roman to like you after the whole you becoming a light side thing, but Logan really didn’t mean to hurt anyone he just really struggles to realise what is okay to say because he doesn’t understand how not knowing something can be good and that makes perfect sense when you think about it and it just shows how much he cares because he asked me to talk to you because he knows he would have said something wrong and maybe make it worse and -”

“Patton.” Virgil cut him off, partly because he had realised that Morality had worked himself up over nothing, and partly because he was worried his friend would forget to breathe. “I’m not mad at Logan. I get he struggles with - people. I do too! It’s not a big deal. Me and Roman just needed a bit of space, that’s all.”

“Oh.” Patton let out a weak giggle. “I guess I kinda over-reacted, huh Kiddo?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Ignoring his own aversions to the physical motion, Virgil pulled Patton into a hug. “It’s nice that you cared so much. But Patton?”

“Yeah?” Now Patton was hugging Virgil, it seemed doubtful that he would ever let go. Virgil started to panic, realising quite how trapped he was in Morality's arms, but he pushed it down. Patton would let go, if Virgil asked. He always would.

“If you ever worry about something like this, you always tell me, okay? Wouldn’t want you getting blue.” He smiled, tugging on Patton’s shirt so the joke made some sort of sense.

Patton gasped. “You made a DAD JOKE!” And the hugging started again. “I know I can always come to you, grumpy, but you’ve got to do the same okay? I wouldn’t be much of a dad if my kids couldn’t come to me when they need it.”

“Yeah, okay Patton. I promise.”

Virgil pushed the promise to the back of his mind and focused on getting through the hug. He could panic about that later.


	4. Chapter Three - Old Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's favourite character makes an appearance! Just a warning, there is a lot of swearing and some mentions of sex but nothing too explicit. Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!

At the very back of Thomas' mind was a small, secluded chamber where Virgil spent many nights, back when he was still considered a 'dark side'. This chamber represented where Thomas witnessed his dreams. They were unclouded by logic, unbarred by morals and the creativity was not refined into something as powerful as the Prince or the Duke, but instead was a pure force shaped freely by Thomas' imagination.

When he was younger, the only reason he came to the light realm alone at all was to watch the show in the dream chamber. Sometimes Thomas would sing in front of millions of people or be stuck on a farm with no underwear or get lost in a never ending museum's gift-shop that only sold dog biscuits. Virgil found it fascinating, because what he saw in the dream Chamber was completely uninfluenced footage of Thomas. No logic, no morality, no creativity. Just pure Thomas.

He wasn't sure, but he seemed to be the only side that could stay awake while Thomas was sleeping, apart from Sleep himself that was. Virgil had no idea why that was, but he wasn't sure how true it was either. Maybe the other sides just spent the nights shut away in their rooms, or maybe they met up and used the nights to do stuff without him.

Pushing the thoughts away, he continued down the corridor towards the dream chamber. It was weird to think how he hadn't been to the chamber even once in the year since he'd left the dark sides. It was always so busy up here, there was always so much to keep track of, that it was hard to find free time between the need to help Thomas and the need for sleep himself. Recently, however, Thomas had been doing really well, and Virgil was proud of himself for that. He had held his tongue when he had irrational worries and gotten the point across when it was important. Thomas was listening to him more than ever before, and he had even started adding to the other side's ideas, with his own snark and snide of course. He might be taking a new stance when talking to Thomas, but he wasn't going to let them forget that they needed to listen to him, and if they started to ignore him he could force their attention if he needed to.

In the dream chamber he could drop all of that. He could just relax and be himself. The door came into view a short distance ahead. Virgil was never quite sure how he found it, but he knew it was in a completely opposite direction to everything else, so if he didn't see anything for long enough, he knew he was going the right way.

Remy had shown him the way a long, long time ago, but Virgil had used his instincts since. He had missed Remy; they hadn't seen each other for years now. When they were kids, Sleep would always complain about how Thomas never wanted to sleep, but very suddenly Thomas reached a stage where all he wanted to do was sleep, and Remy had gradually disappeared from the dark realm altogether.

The door to the dream chamber was a pale dusky blue in colour, neither wood nor metal nor anything. There was no label, but Virgil doubted anyone else ever came here anyway. It didn't need a label. The door itself was shrouded in mist, like fog leaking under the entrance to an underground club. It billowed under Virgil's feet as he pushed it open, and it swung shut behind him, the lock clicking into place.

The room was exactly as he remembered it to be. The colour of the walls hovered somewhere between midnight blue, pitch black and deepest purple, but the shades changed so subtly and so commonly it was hard to pinpoint which. The floor was covered in a layer of fog leaving no clue as to what lay below, or if there was anything there apart from the fog. One wall of the room opened up like a cinema without the screen onto a landscape where Thomas stood. That was his dream.

Virgil moved forwards, intent to take a seat and spend the night watching when he realised he wasn't alone.

In the middle of the room stood a figure. It took Virgil a moment to realise who it was.

"Remy?"

Sleep spun to face him, hurriedly pulling the Starbucks straw away from his mouth.

"Wha- Anxiety?" Remy pulled his sunglasses to the end of his nose and looked at Virgil over them, his mouth opening slightly in surprise. "No way is that you."

"Yeah," he ran a self-conscious hand through his hair, "It's, um, it's Virgil now. Wow man, it's been forever."

"Hasn't it though! Virgil huh? I like it. Damn, last time I saw you you had hair down your chin and you'd glower at anyone who came within ten metres. Finally left that emo phase then?"

"That's a matter of opinion, I think. I'm certainly better than I was. And look at you - you got cool, huh?"

"Oh yeah, Thomas is all about me now, barely lets me have a life of my own. But you know how he is, very devoted, very, you know, sleepy."

"Yeah, I get that." Virgil could barely believe the dorky little creature who'd given Thomas nightmares by accident as a kid was now dressed in leather with designer sunglasses and was somehow pulling off a man-bag.

"I heard you were chilling around up here now. Good for you, man. Janus was a bitch to you."

Virgil chucked, trying not to flinch at Deceits name. "Yeah, it's much better up here. I miss Remus a bit, he was always so easy to talk to, but the light sides are nice. They can be a bit - passionate. But they're nice."

"God Remus was a handful."

A sudden memory struck Virgil. "Wait, didn't you guys date, way back?"

Remy chuckled. "Yeah, we did. That was a roller-coaster. Fuck that guy was a shitty boyfriend, but the stuff he could do in bed."

"Too much information, Rem. Isn't he the cause of like, ninety nine percent of Thomas' sex dreams?"

"I think the twins split the responsibility between them." Remy laughed and Virgil joined in, moving closer to his old friend. He couldn't believe how relaxed he felt. This was an interaction he hadn't anticipated, with someone who he'd had bad experiences with, and yet he was so inexplicably calm. It might have been something to do with the dream chamber, the room did have a certain therapeutic feel about it, but Virgil suspected it was something far simpler. He was happy to see Remy.

"Hey, Verg, can I call you Verg? Verg, I just wanna say thanks for, you know, taking a step back. I know we found it hard to get on in the past, around Thomas I mean, and our relationship is doing so much better now he's stopped sweating the small stuff. Like, before, he'd mis-gender a friend and boom, I'd be on some street in Canada, and it'd take me, like days to get home. So, thanks for that. It's really helped."

"Oh, yeah, don't worry about it." Virgil was grinning stupidly. He had never considered how his change had affected those around him. The idea that a relationship was now stronger, that people were happier, because of him was awesome. "I'm sorry for not coming to the realisation sooner."

"Oh don't apologise." Remy laughed, "You were just doing your job. I get that now."

For the first time since he'd when he'd first entered the room, Virgil looked at the dreamscape and almost jumped out of his skin.

Thomas was there, of course, naked, on top of some random dude. Hell, was that the cute guy they passed in the street the other day? What the hell?

"Yeeeah," Remy drew out the word, "It's a fucky one tonight. I mean, I was all for something with Hamilton but apparently we're heading this way now. I swear he never cares about any of my ideas. Horny bitch."

"Isn't this, you know, Remus' kinda thing?" Virgil asked, nervously. He knew he was being silly, but the idea that the Duke could be so close that he had an influence on Thomas' dreams was terrifying.

"I mean, Roman does the exact same thing. I'm surprised the poor dude isn't wearing a crown, that's the Princes' usual thing."

"Well, I really didn't need to know that."

"Gurl you came in here! Thomas is all grown up now, you gotta deal with the grown up shit."

"Sometimes I miss him being a kid."

"Too right. You know, when Thomas wanted to hang out in the middle of the day it'd be totally fine, or if he wanted to chill with me in the car and he would magically wake up in his bed. It was well swag."

"I think swag died a long time ago, Rem."

"Eh, it'll swing back around."

"I just remember his childhood being confusing."

Remy burst out laughing at that. "Dude I remember you would freak out if the Kid saw a magpie! Damn that was weird." He took another long slurp of coffee, then shook the cup with a grimace. "I'm gonna need more coffee to get through this." He waved the cup at the dreamscape, where Thomas was still living out some unwanted fantasy.

"So where do you hang out now?" Virgil asked, searching for a way to continue the conversation. He didn't want silence to fall between them only to be filled with the sex dream.

"Well, you know, the dark sides are all toxic bitches. I ain't for that anymore, so I try and stay up here, but I doubt the light sides would really want me either. I mean, I don't exactly always do what's best for Thomas, and I know they put a lot of pressure on that, so-"

"So when you're not with Thomas, you're-"

"Alone, yeah."

"That's- that's bad. Look, I get what it's like to hover between the two realms. Apparently, I'm a light side now, but I don't really feel like it. I know what I do keeps Thomas safe, but sometimes I take things too far, and sometimes I don't take things far enough. The others don't trust me, not really. They do their best to accept me, they can stand my presence now, and I think Logan appreciates what I do, but I'm not one of them. I never make Thomas happy."

"Damn gurl, don't go monologing on me without a warning." Remy attempted to joke, going to slap Virgil on the shoulder but stopping himself.

"What I mean is, I am probably the best person to understand, so you're always welcome in my room."

"You've really changed." Remy looked genuinely delighted, and surprised. "I remember when you were back below, you wouldn't let anyone near that creepy little house of yours. You built that stupid hard maze around it, didn't you? You were so paranoid you refused to meet up with someone alone. And now you're inviting me into your room."

Virgil knew he had visibly recoiled at the word 'paranoid'. He grasped his own hand to stop himself from shaking, holding himself so tight his knuckles turned white. He knew Remy could see the damage done, and forced himself to choke out a response.

"Yeah, I get you're right." He stumbled to his feet, "I've got to go. It was great seeing you Remy."

"Virgil, wait." Remy got to his feet too, putting out a hand to steady Virgil but pausing just short of touching him. The motion itself was enough to stop him swaying on his feet. He was immensely grateful of his friend for remembering their four year old promise that they would never touch. "You've done awesome," Remy continued, "You really have. Thomas is happy now. The light sides are happy and the dark - well the darks are doing their jobs. You've done good. Remember that, okay?"

It wasn't enough to stave off the arms of panic threatening to drag him below, but they lightened their grip at Sleep's words.

With a weak, grateful smile, Virgil left the dream chamber.


	5. Chapter Four - Caution

“Hey, Virgil?” Patton asked, carefully. The two of them were alone, discussing the night that had just passed. Thomas had gone on stage to perform a part he had spent a long time working towards and, much to Virgil’s surprise, it had gone great. He had remembered his lines, the audience reacted really well, everything had been okay. Roman had already vanished to his room, shouting of his own talents and Logan had retired too, feeling as like he was no longer needed now the tricky, memory part was over.

“Yeah?” Virgil was enjoying the chat, but the change in Patton’s voice put him instantly on edge.

“You’ve been doing really good. Like today, you put just the right amount of pressure on Thomas before the show so he put everything he had into it, but right before he had to go on stage, you let Roman take the wheel. I remember a time when you wouldn’t have done that, so- so good job.”

“Thanks Pat.” Virgil grinned, but he was still sensing some unspoken undertone to the conversation’s proceedings.

“So, yeah, you’re doing awesome, but I was talking to this friend of mine, about you I mean, all good things! I was just telling him who you were and all that, don’t worry, but he's a kinda therapist, and he said you guys could have a chat sometime.”

“A therapist? What do you mean, is he a side?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Patton clambered, “He is a character from some of Thomas’ videos, but sometimes Thomas likes to have a talk with him himself, so he’s been living with me in my room. He’s completely imaginary, not a side or emotion or anything like that, but Thomas likes having him on standby and he is a total sweetheart. He likes Disney too so you guys could talk about that!” 

“So, let me get this straight, you want me to go to one of Thomas’ imaginary characters and have, what, a therapy session?”

“Exactly! Like I said, you’re doing so good with the whole light side thing, but I think it could be really helpful if you could talk to someone about any doubts you might have. I get that it’s kinda hard to talk to us sometimes, because we're just aspects of a personality ourselves, but Emile is a person. He might understand how you affect Thomas in ways we can’t, and I think that could be helpful.”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right, Pat. So, when do you want me to meet this guy?”

“How’s now? Thomas is doing real good so he won’t need him for a while, and as far as I know, Emile has nothing really to do.”

“Now?” Virgil didn’t know if he was ready for even more socialisation; the day had been a long one already, but he couldn’t think of a reason to say no apart from that he was tired. That didn’t seem like a good enough excuse. “Now works. He just wants to chat, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course. I doubt we’ve got much time anyway, Thomas is tired, he’ll go to sleep soon.”

“Yeah,” Virgil smiled weakly, deciding to forgo explaining that he could function even while Thomas slept. “You’re right. Let’s go, then. You said he was in your room right?”

“Yeah, but if you stay here I’ll go get him. There’s a sofa and everything, it’ll be like a proper therapy session!” Patton giggled, rushing out of the room with worrying excitement and leaving Virgil to contemplate what the evening could have in store.

Remy was in Virgil’s room at the moment. They had been spending increasing amounts of time together since reuniting in the dream chamber. Sleep hadn’t exactly matured since they’d parted as childhood friends, but he had grown into someone just as fun to be around, even though he complained like it was a sport and stayed up as late as humanly possible, listening to music on fall blast. He was a good friend, but was turning out to be a lousy roommate. Virgil had left him watching a Tim Burton documentary, but that would be finishing up around now, so he should probably get back before the side got creative.

He jumped as Patton re-entered the room followed by a stranger. Virgil stood up awkwardly to greet him. He looked like some kind of cross between Patton and Logan. A V-neck brown jumper sat under a bright pink tie, and a pair of glasses perched happily on his nose. It wasn't what Virgil had expected, but he wasn’t surprised that this was the therapist Thomas’ imagination had created.

“Virgil, this is Dr Emile Picani, and Emile this is Virgil!” Patton seemed very excited at the meeting. Virgil forced a smile and offered his hand for Dr Picani to shake, which he did, but paused afterwards.

“Virgil, if you don’t want people to shake your hand, you don’t need to offer it.”

“I know that!” Virgil spurted, aggressively. “I know, I just, I know.”

The therapist smiled. “Patton, is it alright if I talk to Virgil alone? I think it’s best if he doesn’t have to factor both of our reactions into his answers.” Patton nodded vigorously, already hurrying from the room.

“Okay you two have fun! Goodnight!”

“Night…” Virgil watched him go with a sinking feeling.

“So,” Dr Picani took a seat on the sofa, opposite Virgil and spent a moment arranging his clipboard on his knee before taking a good look at Virgil. Without warning, his face broke into a smile, “I heard you like Disney.”

“Um, yeah, yeah Disney's cool.”

“What’s your favourite movie? Your favourite character? Favourite song?” The clipboard fell to the floor as Picani leaned over it, eagerly. Virgil suddenly understood why he got on well with Patton.

“Um, I like the Nightmare before Christmas most I think. Kinda my jam, you know. What about you?”

“Mine-” Picani paused, sitting back and tapping his pen on his chin. “You know, I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that! I’d have to think about it. But we’re here to talk about you, and work out how you can just keep swimming, eh? How are you feeling?”

“I’m good.” Virgil said automatically, “You know, as good as you can be when your job is to worry.”

“Uh huh, and if you were to describe your mood with a word other than ‘good’, what word would you use?”

That caught Virgil by surprise. He had been so focused on the progress he’d been making between the marks of ‘bad’ and ‘good’, he hadn’t considered where exactly on the scale he was.

“I’m tired.” He said, finally.

“Hmm, that is interesting. Thomas needs his anxiety to be conscious to his surroundings and struggles, he can’t function with a sleeping beauty!” said Picani, winking.

“I’m not sleepy.” said Virgil, “I just wish I didn’t have to be so constantly vigilant. I’m trying to keep Thomas safe while at the same time not pushing him too far. It’s exhausting.”

“Yes, yes I get that. Well, Virgil, I think you need to work on putting yourself before Thomas.”

“What?” Virgil wasn’t sure if he’d heard right.

“Thomas is important, of course he is, you are an aspect of his personality, but you are a person too, with different feelings and reactions. You may be majorly anxiety, but think of that as the purpose you are tasked with, rather than what you are as an entity.”

“That doesn’t make sense. My name literally is anxiety.” What Picani was saying challenged everything Virgil did. Thomas came first, always. That was why Virgil pushed himself to be in any way nice to Thomas and the others, when all he really wanted to do was yell at them and leave.

“You were created to make Thomas think twice about things, that is true, but don’t let that define you. Think about it this way: say Patton watched ‘Edward Scissorhands’, how would he react?”

“He would hide behind a pillow whimpering until it finished.” Virgil said automatically, “He’s scared of knives and creepy houses, and Johnny Depp.”

“Johnny Depp?”

“Yeah, God knows why. Dr Picani, I don’t get the point here.”

“Well, if Patton watched a film that scared him, directly afterwards do you think he would be in the best state of mind to help Thomas?”

“Of course not. He was a blubbering mess. I mean, I lov- I really like him but I’ve never met a bigger chicken. You know he’s scared of my curtains because they’ve got spiders on them. Just cartoon spiders.”

“Well, that’s my point then. If certain experiences mean that Patton, or any of the other side, are worse at their job, then it’s the same for you. If you look after yourself, you are really benefiting Thomas in the long run. In this analogy, you need to learn to turn off the scary movie and tell the others that you don’t want to watch it.”

“I find moral decisions come up less than practical ones. I don’t have time to turn off the movie! I need to always be there for Thomas, to keep him safe.”

Dr Picani sighed. “It’s a shame you think that way Virgil. All that weight on one side’s shoulders must be astronomical. So how would you feel about me proposing some homework?"

“Sure…”

“I want you to try and practise the habit of worrying about stuff later. Thomas gets a worrying text from a friend, asking to talk when he’s taking time for himself? He can worry about that later. He takes a wrong turning and is late to an audition? He can worry about the consequences later, because at that moment he needs to focus on his acting. Does this make sense?”

“I suppose so. So when I spot something that concerns me, but doesn’t have an immediate effect…”

“You wait until you are in a good enough mood to bring it up. That means you wait until you have enough energy and enough motivation to get your point across in a helpful way.”

“I guess that makes sense. But it’s hard, you know? I was a dark side. I want- I need to prove that I belong here. That I can keep Thomas safe. If something bad happens because I was busy looking after myself-”

“Bad things happen, Virgil. Think of it this way: would you have gotten your own room if you didn’t belong here? Impulse and Deceit have both been up here, but neither of them have a room. The conclusion is that you’re different. Think about the Lion King: Simba left his people for most of his growing years, but when he returned, he was able to do enough good to make up for the bad. He took years to eat bugs and play with some jungle animals, but he is still considered a hero.”

“I get that, but that’s the point in it’s way. I need to do more good, to outweigh the bad.”

“And you will. But make sure you’re in the right place to do the good, okay?”

“Okay.”

There was silence for a moment. And then Picani spoke again with a much more sensitive tone.

“Would it be alright if we talked a bit about the dark sides? About your time below?”

Virgil stiffened. He couldn’t help himself. He hadn’t spoken about the others to anyone except Remy, and that could hardly be counted as therapy. His experiences with Janus and Remus were best left forgotten.

“What do you want to know?” He asked, harshly. He wasn’t saying yes or no, just asking.

“Well, under what terms did you leave?”

“Bad.” Virgil would never forget a moment of that day, when Janus had come crashing through the door of his safety and Remus had laughed at his fear and the other had chuckled from the darkness. “I was so scared.” He whispered.

“Were they angry?” Picani had turned into a blur in the corner of his mind. He couldn’t get the sound of that laughter out of his head. The feeling of the wind snaking in through the broken door hit him again. Janus’ hand was on his shoulder, his chin, tilting his face up. No. They can’t touch him. They can’t.

“Virgil.” The voice was harsh enough to bring him back to the moment. He was shaking, hard. Harder than he could force himself to suppress. “Virgil it’s going to be okay. You’re safe here. No one is going to touch you if you don’t want them too.”

“I think they were more surprised than angry. But they’re angry now.”

“How do you know, have you seen them?”

“No, no. But I know them." He wished he could force his voice to steady. The laughter was still ringing in his ears, and he spoke louder to drown it out. "Remus was my best friend. Ja - Deceit was my protector, like a father figure almost. I had no one else.” He laid his quivering hands bare, as if that could excuse his choices.

“And that’s okay Virgil. It doesn’t matter if they’re angry now because you did what you needed to. You took control. Now what you've got to do is take control in other aspects of your life. One last thing. I understand that your name is important to you?”

“Where did you get that from?” 

“Patton mentioned your reluctance to share yours, and earlier you linked your title being anxiety to your purpose as a side. So, I have a proposition to make. How about, instead of calling yourself Anxiety, you call yourself ‘Caution’? You’re not a disease, you’re not something to get rid of, you’re something that everyone has, and you keep Thomas safe.”

“Caution? I kinda like that.”

Picani beamed. “I’m so glad. We really need to get together and binge a cartoon sometime.”

“Yeah, you can join me and Roman.”

“We should all do it! You know, when Patton’s busy and Thomas is in a good mood, I really don’t have much to do. I mean, I know I’m just imaginary so it doesn’t really matter, I have no effect on Thomas apart from being there when he needs me, but I would like someone else to hang out with.”

Virgil paused. He was sure he’d had something very similar to this conversation before. It struck him with a smile. Remy.

“You know, I’ve got a friend in the very same position.”

Picani visibly perked up. “Really? Who?”

“Come with me.” Virgil was already excited just picturing the match-up. “I’ll introduce you.”


	6. Chapter Five - Auditions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter, it's the last bit of fluff you're going to get for a while. ;-)

It felt weird knocking on his own door, but when he heard Remy hurrying around inside before answering he knew he’d made the right choice in doing so.

He opened the door to find Remy leaning against his wardrobe, slurping his Starbucks coffee obnoxiously loud. 

“Hey Rem,” Virgil wandered in, looking around curiously for any clue of what Sleep might have been doing.

“Virg! How was Thomas’ actingy singy thing?”

“It was alright, you managed to keep yourself entertained?”

“Yeah, the movie finished.” Remy gestured lazily at the laptop left discarded on the unmade bed. It was only then that he caught sight of Emile standing directly behind Virgil. “And who are you?”

“Emile Picani,” The therapist stepped out from behind Virgil, his face flushed as he took in Remy. He offered his hand towards Sleep, who stepped forwards to take it. As he moved his weight away from the wardrobe, the door sprung open and an angry goose flew out, honking so loudly Virgil wouldn’t have been surprised if it woke up Thomas, not that he’d be able to hear it.

“What the hell Remy?” He hissed, jumping out the way of the furious bird.

“That was- unexpected.” Picani moved out of the way of the door and the goose ran out. He shut the door, smiling weakly. “That can be someone else’s problem.”

“I like your way of thinking.” drawled Remy, taking his glasses off and swinging them around his finger, his eyes still locked with Picani's.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Virgil growled.

“Okay, okay, so the movie finished and I thought it’d be nice to have a juice, cos I can’t really drink 'not-coffee' around other people cos I’ve got to keep up my image, you know? So I went to summon a juice but I guess I misspoke.”

“And said GOOSE?”

“That is brilliant.” Picani choked. Virgil looked at him in surprise and found the therapist almost doubled over with laughter. Remy chucked along with him. Already, Virgil was almost regretting allowing the two of them to meet. He threw himself onto his bed and pulled on his headphones, but didn’t turn on any music. He was too curious to detach from the conversation entirely. 

“I’m Remy. You know how Thomas is in a pretty serious relationship with Sleep? Yeah, that’s my doing. And what about you? I’ve never heard about a Picani. I suppose you’re one of Janus’ friends?”

“No, no. I’m fairly new, that’s all, I’ve been staying with Patton. I’m a therapist character in some of Thomas’ videos, but he uses me himself too.”

“Uh huh.” Remy hadn’t taken his eyes off Picani once since he’d first seen him. Virgil watched, incredulous, as he strode across the room, straightened Emile’s glasses, stroking his hair with the motion, and then took his hand and began to lead him out of the door.

“Where are we going?” Picani didn’t pull his hand away, but hurried to catch up with Sleep.

“We are going to get a drink, and then you’re going to tell me everything about you, and then we might even kiss.”

Virgil made a gagging sound at Sleep’s words, but neither Remy nor Emile turned back to look at him. They were already making their way up the corridor.

“Well this certainly turned out to be an exciting evening!” Picani's voice faded into the distance.

And Virgil was left alone. Still, he could stop smiling.

* * *

The next day, Virgil took his time enjoying his own company. Thomas was happy; the other sides were all occupying themselves; he felt good for once. He hadn’t heard from Remy or Picani since last night, and could only assume that things had gone well, which he was also proud of himself for. Matchmaker was never a title he had considered for himself, but neither was ‘Caution’. He smiled. The name described him so much better than ‘Anxiety’. It did now, at least.

With a jolt, he felt a pull from above. Thomas, or one of the other sides, wanted to talk. With a sigh, he laid down his headphones and allowed himself to be summoned.

“Virgil!” Thomas’ greeting was loud and sudden compared to the peace he had just left. Virgil blinked at the room, adjusting to the brighter lights. Roman and Logan were there already, but there was no sign of Patton.

“Virgil will side with me.” Roman insisted, obviously continuing a conversation that Virgil had missed out on. “What do you think, Fringy? Should Thomas do the audition?”

“Audition?” Virgil span wildly to face Logan, completely unaware of what he had been dragged into. “I didn’t know Thomas had another audition! Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Logan took a deep breath and began to explain. “Because-”

“I forgot!” wailed Thomas, turning to Virgil with overly sad eyes. “I forgot all about the audition and it’s tomorrow and I can’t even remember what it’s for!”

“Yes, as I was saying,” said Logan, “Thomas got a call from his agent when he was playing, ehm,” He straightened his tie, “A video game. The agent offered him this audition and Thomas said he’d be there, and then he told himself he would put it in his calendar once he had finished that level. Only he forgot to put it in his calendar, and he has only remembered now because his agent called to make sure everything was okay.”

“He said he’d call his agent back. But what do you think, Virgil?” said Roman, “You think he should go, right? This could be his big break! Who knows? He’s got to have anxiety about missing a chance like this.”

“What? Of course not. He shouldn’t go.” said Virgil, automatically.

“Oh I knew you would say that!”

“Really? You literally said I would ‘side with you’ as soon as you called me here.

“Well- I- Shut up Emo.”

“Virgil,” Thomas interjected, “Don’t you think you’re jumping ahead a little bit there? I mean, I get I haven’t prepared anything and I’d probably have to stay up late to rehearse and make sure I’m ready but this could still be a good opportunity. I’ve got some time.”

“Sure, it could be a good opportunity, but I don’t think it’s really worth it.”

“And why is that?” asked Logan.

Virgil smiled. There was once a time when no one would have asked him that. Now, at last, he was given the chance to explain himself.

“Say Thomas doesn’t go to the audition, what does he lose?”

“He could miss out on his dream part in a production that might make it to Broadway!” Roman did the princey thing with his hands as he spoke. “He will miss out on new friends, new opportunities, new ADVENTURE!” 

“That does sound pretty good.” said Thomas, weakly.

“Okay, okay, but what about if he does go? What does he lose then?”

“Nothing. He’s doing the thing, taking the chance! He doesn’t have anything to lose!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Captain Prancer. Say he does stay up all night rehearsing, he loses sleep, meaning he will be exhausted for the audition itself. Then, tomorrow, he will perform and if it goes badly, which it will if he’s parroting unprepared work on no sleep, his self-esteem will take a hit, which will impact future performances. Also, he has to pay for transport to get to the audition and to get home. Plus, he’s got a mountain of housework to do.”

“But- But-” For once, the Prince seemed lost for words.

“Nicely said Virgil.” said Logan, “I may not see the point in Thomas’ acting obsession, but you were able to explain the drawbacks in a way that I would not have phrased, um, appropriately.”

Virgil nodded his thanks, letting himself smile.

“I do think Virgil’s right, Roman. I need to sit this one out.” said Thomas, looking pleadingly at the Prince.

“But- But what if this production is THE ONE!”

“That doesn’t make sense.” said Virgil, “Why would there be just one chance for Thomas to prove himself? What if he didn’t hear about ‘the one’? What if ‘the one’ is in a different country? What if ‘the one’ isn’t going to be auditioning for nine hundred years? Don’t think so small, Princy.”

“That was strangely optimistic.” said Thomas, smiling like he knew some secret, “For you I mean, Virgil.”

“What can I say.” He stretched his arms behind him, “I’ve been getting therapy. Was that all?”

“Yeah,” said Thomas, “Thanks Virg. I’m not sure I would have considered all that by myself.”

“Hey, Virgil.” Roman was obviously taking great care to come across as ‘nice’. “I want to say thank you as well. I don’t always think about that kind of stuff-”

“Stuff that you don’t want to do.”

“Exactly! Sleeping and housework. I just don’t consider it! But now you’ve listed it all out, it makes sense for Thomas to stay home. And you were right about the other thing as well. He’s a talented actor, he will get his big chance. It could have been tomorrow, or it could be in twenty years time.”

“Okay, that’s the allocated amount of social interaction I have for today.” said Virgil, beginning to sink out, “By T-Train.”

He pretended he hadn’t heard Thomas laugh at the new nickname as he vanished from the living room and re-emerged in the hallway outside their four bedrooms, but he couldn’t stop smiling. That- That had been amazing. There had been an issue and he’d solved it, practically single-handedly. Logan had praised him. Roman had thanked him. Thomas had been happy and safe because of answers he had provided. They had aired on the side of caution and that was okay.

Patton pushed past him, making him jump.

“What the- Patton? What are you doing?”

Morality stood up straight, a smile taking up most of his reddened face. “There’s a goose in the hall! I’ve been chasing it for about an hour. It bit me here-” he lifted his arm to show of a small, beak-shaped mark, “But it’s not that bad. I’m gonna catch it, just you watch me! Any idea how it got here?”

“Yeah, Remy accidentally summoned it.”

“Remy?”

“You know- Sleep?”

“Oh, yeah I know him! The guy always drinking Starbucks? He swears a lot, right?” Patton pulled a face.

“Yeah, that’s him. I introduced him to Dr Picani last night and haven’t seen them since. I’m guessing they must be getting on.”

“That was a good idea! How was the talk with Emile last night? I completely forgot to ask.”

“It was great, Patton. Really good. It put a lot of things into perspective. And you were right, it was really helpful to talk to someone who wasn’t just a side.”

Patton beamed. “Well, I’m going after Goosy, but I’m so glad. See you around Virgie!” He ran off and Virgil watched him go. Patton was a great friend; Virgil was so lucky to have him.

He pushed open the door to his room and sat back down on his bed, enjoying the peace of privacy.

He was just about to put his headphones back on when a loud, cackling laugh rung from behind him.


	7. Chapter Six - Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the fluffy stuff, because it all goes downhill from here!

Virgil was happy. He couldn't remember ever being happy before, at least not this happy. But when he heard that familiar witch's cackle come from behind him, he knew it was over. He should have known happiness would never hang around.

He twisted to see the Duke standing in the shadow of his door. Remus hadn’t changed in the year they’d been apart. In fact, he was the spitting image of that final memory carved into Virgil’s mind. A tooth-filled grin stretched across his face, his eyes were wide and staring. His silky green sash bundled by his hip, the fragile material somehow still looking like something he’d dug out of a bin. Leather boots stretched up to his knees, where there was a sliver of skin capped by voluminous shorts.

“Hello Trashy!” He moved forwards into the room and Virgil scurried back like a disturbed mouse, putting the bed between the two of them. Remus feigned offence. “Oh come on Virgil, are you really not going to say hello? It’s been more than a year! You can’t say you haven’t missed me. I must say I’ve missed you, and the sound of your screams.”

The Duke continued to move forwards, swinging his hips and managing to take up the entire room. “It’s so lonely downstairs without you now. You’ve been a naughty boy, haven’t you? Janus is going to be very very angry with you.”

Virgil took another jerky step backwards and collided with something hard and warm. A hand gripped his shoulder.

“Why hello Virgil.” Deceit whispered in his ear.

* * *

Logan sat alone in his room, wondering what was wrong. It was obvious something was wrong; Thomas was on edge, Roman was blabbering outside his door about ideas they had dismissed years ago and Patton was still chasing a goose through the hallway. He himself felt as calm and collected as always, but that was no confirmation that he wasn’t experiencing the same changes as the other sides. He, as himself, wasn’t in a position to compare his behaviour now to his behaviour previously.

Whether he did or didn’t exhibit strange behaviour, there was obviously something wrong. There were times when similar events had taken place in the past, where the sides had seemed overly engaged in the functions. At these times, their titles weren't jobs tasked to them, but their very reason for being in existence. In earlier instances, this had happened after Thomas had experienced a spike in anxiety. Logan had always assumed the light side’s various reactions had been a response to Anxiety’s impacts, but maybe there was more to it. He cast his mind back to when Virgil had lived below, with the dark sides. What else had taken place after one of his tantrums?

Often, Janus would bring Virgil to the light realm to calm him down. They would sneak into the changing room and watch a film or talk. Logan had never resented the practise. At that point, Virgil had posed a hindrance to his logical attempts and Janus had outright thwarted them, but he understood how it was important for Anxiety to be calmed when necessary. He didn’t know if Roman or Patton had ever been aware of the event, but under observation, Janus and Virgil's visits to the light realm correlated almost perfectly with the strange changes in behaviour he was witnessing.

It wasn’t Anxiety that sent the sides into a spin. It was Deceit. Which meant…

* * *

Virgil couldn’t move. He didn’t know if Janus held him frozen or if his own panic had immobilised him, but Deceit was touching him, and it needed to stop. He didn’t care if the hand was gloved. He didn’t care if he couldn’t see his captor. He needed to get free, but he couldn’t.

“Nothing to say?” Janus simpered, “Come now, you’ve not seen me for a year. Surely you must have some words for me. We have missed you so.”

Virgil let out a long, shaky breath, and forced himself to take in more air. He could feel himself swaying, the ground beneath him sucking him down until his collapse seemed immanent. Deceit’s grip on him was so strong that Virgil wouldn’t have been surprised if it was the only reason he was still standing. 

“Let go of me.” He said, his voice grating against his teeth as he spat out the words.

“As you wish.” Janus pushed roughly on Virgil’s shoulder, grabbing his hand as he did. With one fluid motion, he spun him into a chair that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Virgil hit the wood hard and at once tried to get to his feet, but he was once again frozen into place. Janus wasn’t letting him go.

“Well, you look like you hate it up here.” Janus walked in a wide circle around Virgil’s chair. “I can see you’re practically begging to come home.”

“I never had a home with you.” Virgil attempted to snap the retort, but he just sounded sad.

Remus let out a hooting laugh. “You tell him, Angsty!”

“Virgil,” Janus stopped pacing and took a seat on the end of the bed. “Let’s forget the games. We need to talk.”

He still spoke in that silky, sing-song voice, which always meant danger, but now that Virgil was looking at Janus, properly looking, he could see that something was wrong. Under his hat, Deceit's hair was an unkempt mess. One of his gloves was untucked from his sleeve and the top pin of his coat was undone. He had bags under his eyes that could rival Virgil’s own. Something had happened, and Janus hadn’t come out of it looking good. Virgil considered remarking on it, using it to his advantage, but Deceit continued speaking before he could make a decision.

“You are being too nice to Thomas.”

“Nice?” Virgil’s surprise seemed to dull his fear. “What the hell is wrong with nice? You spent years telling me I need to do whatever I can to get Thomas to hear me in the first place, but you know what? Talking to him gets the same results, better results! The shouting you taught me is just damaging.”

“Oh, well I've been told.” Janus raised a mocking hand to his chest.

“Looks like someone grew a spine while he was away!” Remus was hanging from the light now, swinging himself backwards and forwards.

“I must have been wrong every time I told you that I knew what was best for Thomas.” said Janus,”Because you’ve been hanging around with the ‘good guys’ for a year, you already have a perfect working knowledge of good and bad, isn’t that right, Virgil?”

“I have a better knowledge of it than you.” Virgil hated when Janus used his name. It was too familiar, too personal. Again, he tried to prize himself off the chair, to escape this hell he’d unwittingly walked into, but the effort seemed to do nothing but drain him. It felt like a repeat of what had caused him to leave the dark realm. He didn’t consider his room to be safe, he wasn’t naive enough to make that mistake again, but the fact that they had come into his space and imprisoned him, tormented him so all he wanted to do was to escape the place where he felt happy, was enough to sap the fight from him.

“Okay, so you’ve gotten so good as talking things through. You talk to Thomas, you talk to the light sides. Remus here tells me you’ve even got a Therapist!”

“And a roommate.” The Duke jeered, “Remy always did have a thing for you. I should go and visit him while I’m up here.” He looked at the door as if hoping Remy would walk through it in that instance and Remus would get the chance to jump him.

“So, you persuade the others why you think something is a bad idea, is that right? And sometimes they listen and sometimes they don’t.”

“Sometimes I’m the one being illogical. I’ve learned to listen.”

“Okay, okay fine. But you must understand how talking through every single decision before acting could end badly.”

“Nope.”

“Well, allow me to enlighten you.” Deceit took a moment adjusting his gloves, tucking in the loose one, before continuing. “Lets say Thomas is in a plane, and that plane is crashing. What should he do?”

“Put his air-mask and life-jacket on. It’s not that hard. He knows what to do in that situation.” Virgil didn’t know what sort of trap Janus was setting for him, but he was determined to avoid it.

“Very good! Okay then, problem solved. Thomas is as safe as he can be in that situation.” Deceit suddenly raised a hand to his mouth in pretend surprise. “But wait, Morality wants to make sure everyone else on the plane is safe first, because what’s the point in Thomas surviving if he could have done more to help others? After all, Thomas has had a good life and other people might have so much more to live for. And Logic wants to check the functionality of the air-mask. He has always been curious as to how these worked.”

“And Roman wants to see what Thomas’s blood looks like when he’s splattered all over the ground!” Cooed the Duke, waving his hands around in excitement. “I bet splattered Thomas would be a proper work of art!”

“First of all, that’s what you would do, Remus, not Roman. And secondly, that wouldn’t happen! These guys still listen to me, they listen to me more than they did before!”

“But they argue with you. They have their own wants and needs and they would get in the way of Thomas’ safety. When it comes down to it, he needs to act quickly. There wouldn’t be time for discussion.”

“There wouldn’t be any discussion in a situation like that. The light sides want Thomas to be safe as much as you do. They would understand that I would need to take charge.”

“I’m not sure they would.” Janus’ answer was so final, Virgil couldn’t think of a retort.

“You do raise an interesting point, emo.” said Remus, swaggering forwards. “Not about the plane thing, your argument there was complete shit, but about the light sides, as you called them. It sounded to me like you don’t consider yourself as one of them, even after they spent so much time learning to accept you.”

Without warning, Remus threw himself onto Virgil’s lap, straddling him. He dragged a slow, damp finger down his cheek. “Just admit it, you don’t belong here. You don’t want to be here. You want to come back home with us,” he leaned in close, letting his wet breath hit Virgil’s ear, “Because you know it’s what you deserve.”

Virgil couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t think of anything but the weight of Remus pressing down on him, threatening to push him under the rapids he was currently trying to swim through. He felt himself get thrown against a rock. Too close. Too much. He was pulled under the water. He was drowning. There was no air. There was nothing but the Duke, sitting astride him, owning him. He could die here, and the Duke would laugh, and Janus would smile, and no one would care.

“Deceit.” He choked, screwing his eyes shut against the onslaught being forced against him, “Help.”

Remus jerked backwards, as if being pulled away by an invisible chain. Janus chuckled.

“Next time,” he murmured, “I won’t call him off unless you say my name.”

“Ooh, there’s going to be a next time.” The Duke seemed delighted, completely unaware of the terror still coursing through Virgil. It felt he’d swallowed the river he had been struggling through.

“You’re coming with us, Virgil, whether you like it or not. Thomas is not safe with you up here.”

Virgil struggled to contemplate the decision being tasked to him. He could either leave with the dark sides and all the progress made would be lost, or he could fight them and try to stay. Who knows what they would do to him if he tried to defy them? He attempted to think of the worst case scenario of each option, or the best case. This must have been what Dr Picani had meant when he said Virgil needed to take time for himself so he could think more clearly, only a thousand times worse.

If he said no, who knows what they might do? They could force him, easily. They could force him without touching him, but they wouldn’t. Remus would take every possible moment to torment Virgil, there was no mystery there. And, as the Duke had said, Janus was angry. Virgil had always fled from him when he was angry. He had never had to face it. Now, he didn’t have a choice. It was either provoke him, or go quietly.

“I’ll come with you.” He said, trying not to let his hatred of the decision show through, “And I won’t fight you, if you promise not to touch me.”

“I don’t think you’re in a position to ask for that.” said Janus, and Remus nodded his agreement. 

Virgil said nothing. He stayed in his seat, no longer struggling, and waited for their response.

“Fine,” Janus at last sighed, “You have my word that neither of us will touch you if you do everything I ask of you until we reach the dark realm.”

Virgil spent a moment examining the loopholes in the promise, but it was too much effort. He was so tired. It was all too much.

“Can I leave a note, for the light sides?” He asked, knowing he needed to leave some explanation to where he had gone. He didn’t want them to think he’d done this willingly.

“Oh, sure, and while you’re at it you can bring your pet spider.” said Janus, sarcastically.

“If I don’t, they might come looking for me. Who knows what will happen if the light sides go downstairs?”

Janus hesitated at that, then nodded.

“Fine, leave a quick note.”

Virgil found himself able to get to his feet, and he hurried to find some scrap paper. His handwriting was even more illegibly spikey than usual due to his shaking, but he managed to create something he was fairly sure Patton would be able to read. The note was for Patton, and only Patton. He knew the others would probably read it, but Morality was the one who would care where Virgil had gone.

“Can they tell Thomas what you’ve done?” He asked, gritting his teeth, hating how quickly he had sunk back into his old, fearful ways.

“Of course not. Tell them that if Thomas asks, they are to act as if they have no memory of you. Eventually, he will stop asking, once I’ve hidden you properly, and everything will go back to normal.”

Despising himself for obeying, Virgil scribbled the note and signed it ‘Anxiety’. Who was he kidding? He wasn’t Caution. He was a disease. Janus was right. Thomas was better off with Virgil far, far away.

“Let’s go.” Janus led the way out of the room. Virgil followed and Remus walked uncomfortably close behind him. Not touching, though. At least he wasn’t touching. When the door shut, Virgil turned and pinned the note to the wood, stepping back and taking one last look at the door that had made him feel so welcome.

They walked away from the doors, up the corridor towards where Virgil knew the staircase lay. They moved in silence, the three of them reunited in the worst way possible. He hadn’t expected this, hadn’t predicted it, but now it was happening it seemed like it had always been inevitable. He wasn’t a light side. He belonged below.

The stairs came into view ahead, and Virgil had to force himself to keep moving. The fear that the sight sparked in him was crippling, but somehow he managed to stay on his feet.

Then he heard footsteps behind him.

Unable to help himself, he twisted to see Logan standing a short distance away. With one glance, Virgil knew he had taken in the whole scene and understood precisely what was happening.

“Logan!” He called, throwing himself towards the side. Logan said nothing, did nothing. Virgil felt his face fall as Logic regarded him coldly.

“Virgil, go down the stairs.” Janus said, once.

For a heartbeat, Virgil stood, unable to move, staring at Logan. For a heartbeat, Deceit let him disobey.

And then Remus was on him, his hands on Virgil’s wrists, pulling his arms behind his back and shoving forwards. All thoughts went out of his head as he was pushed down the stairs, but in the moment before he fell, he caught sight of Janus.

He watched as the snake smirked at Logan, and then raised a hand to his hat and tipped it forwards.

“Logic.” He said, in greeting and farewell, before turning and descending the stairs himself.


	8. Chapter Seven - Heroes and Villains

The change was sudden and absolute. One moment, Patton was chasing the goose through the hallway, laughing uncontrollably, needing to catch the hissy, feathery beast. The next, he was standing up straight, wondering what on earth he was doing. The goose continued off down the corridor, honking and flapping its wings. Patton watched it go, pondering why he had been so focused on catching it. It wasn’t unlike him to get obsessive over things, especially small animals, but he had spent the entire day chasing it. Thomas had attempted to summon him earlier, and he had just ignored the calls in favour of his own self interest! He hoped everything was okay.

Suddenly, he realised where he was. The corridor stretched ahead, but the smooth carpet was interrupted by the stairway to the dark realm. A figure stood a short distance away from the steps. Unease took hold of Patton before he realised who it was, and took a breath of relief. He didn’t dislike the dark sides, he understood why they had to be the way they were, even if it made him uncomfortable, but the sight of Logan was a welcome one in the place of Deceit or the Duke.

“Hey Lo, whatcha doing way out here?” He asked, rubbing his arm awkwardly, hoping Logic wouldn’t ask him the same question in return. It wasn't that he was ashamed of his behaviour, but he felt like he should have a reason for chasing a goose all day before sharing.

Logan turned too suddenly. The harsh movement took Patton by surprise, and he flinched.

“Patton. I was just having a think, no need to worry. But I would like to ask you, have you seen Virgil? Your friend Dr Picani told me that he was here, but he is not.”

“I thought Emile was living with Sleep now in the dreamscape at the back of Thomas’ mind?”

“I presume that is correct. I do not know why he happened to be here, then.”

Patton tried not to feel hurt. Emile had spoken to him twice since moving out, but they hadn’t actually spent any time together, and he was beginning to miss his therapist friend.

“Yeah, so you can’t find Virgil? When did you last see him?”

“When we finished our discussion with Thomas. Do not concern yourself over missing the debate, Patton. We settled the problem efficiently.”

“Okay, good. That’s when I saw him last, too. I was a bit- distracted, but I saw him go into his room.”

“Let’s go and look there for him, then.”

Side by side, they made their way back up the corridor. As much as he tried to ignore it, Patton could sense something off about Logan. He was even colder, even more logical than usual. Normally, he had some sort of exasperated response to a situation, or at least would ask Patton what he’d been doing all day, if only to satisfy his own curiosity. Now, though, there was nothing. 

All of that was flung from his mind when he first locked eyes on the note pinned to Virgil’s door, directly beneath where his name was carved.

“Was that there earlier?” He demanded of Logan, not waiting for the answer before he ripped it off the pin and read:

Patton, Roman, Logic.

Deceit has come to take me away. He thinks that because we take the time to discuss Thomas’ problems now, he would be in more danger in an emergency. It is important to me that you know I am not going willingly. I know Thomas is happier with me upstairs, and I would do anything not to have to write this, but I feel my hands are tied. Don’t come looking for me. I will try and find a way to get back, but if I can’t, then things will have to go back to the way they were.

The final section of the note was scribbled as if it was an afterthought. Patton hated to think what threat would force Virgil to write this.

Deceit says you cannot tell Thomas what has happened. If he asks, you are to pretend I don’t exist, and apparently eventually he will stop asking altogether. I want you to forget me too. I’m so sorry, Patton.

\- Anxiety.

“This has to be a mistake.” Patton spluttered, holding the note at arms distance as if it was contaminated. “It’s all wrong. Deceit can’t be this - this stupid.” He flung the note to Logan and ran to Roman’s door, banging his fists on it, trying not to panic.

Roman emerged in a moment, as immaculate as always. Patton knew that the Prince could tell something was wrong, but he had to stay calm. The urge to go and get Virgil back right at that moment was overwhelming, everything in Patton was saying he needed to rescue his poor, frightened friend, but even he knew that too much emotion, in this scenario, could push them to failure.

“What’s wrong, Pat?” Roman asked, obviously concerned.

“Janus took Virgil back to the dark realm.” gasped Patton, trying not to let the words stumble on top of each other. It was becoming a struggle to even think straight.

“He did? What- when did this happen?” 

“Come on.” Logan walked past, the picture of calm. “We need to discuss this in the changing room.”

Even in his shaky state, Patton could see the sense in that. Casting a feverish glance at Roman, they followed Logan into the changing room to work out how they were going to get Virgil back.

* * *

“Sit still, Virgil, you’re making her nervous.”

Virgil had no idea where he was. The room around him was unfamiliar, with starkly plain white walls and great, arcing windows painted black. He thought he knew the entirety of the dark realm, but either he was wrong, or it had changed a lot since he'd left. He would have called it a throne with, only the throne was the same as the chair which he had been imprisoned on back in his room and he was chained to it with a long, golden snake.

“I’m making it nervous?” Virgil snapped, almost proud of himself for how defiant he sounded. Inside, he had never been more scared, but Janus would know that. Janus knew everything.

“Go on then, struggle, I promise you she won’t bite you. Of course, I would stop her from killing you.” Deceit spat the lies. Even he was failing to hide his anger.

“If you’re so okay with letting the snake bite me, why don’t you just kill me now? Use Remus to give Thomas anxiety. He would be just as good.”

“First of all, Remus causes anxiety, he doesn’t feel it, and second, why do you think you deserve the honour of a quick death?” Moving too quick for Virgil to even register it, Janus’s face was centimetres from his own. The snake’s eyes bored into his, the scales clicking softly as they settled over one another. Virgil didn’t move, didn’t even breathe. All he could think about was how close Janus was.

“You left, Virgil.” The snake sang, “You left us. Remus was lonely. I was lonely. Thomas was in danger. Do you think I could ever forgive you for doing that to me? No. I don’t care if you were happy upstairs. I don’t care if you found people who treated you like you were one of them. You were never one of them, and you never will be. You are a dark side. You deserve to suffer, because that is all you cause. Suffering. Don’t you agree?”

Virgil could barely feel his own body under the weight of the words. He went limp beneath the snake’s pulsing coils, the fight leaving him like it, too, had decided he wasn’t worth its time. Nothing could help him now. No one could save him. His dizziness spun through him, until he could barely keep his eyes open, until he could barely keep his head upright.

Janus’ finger gently hooked under his chin, tilting his head up so Virgil had to look into his eyes, and Virgil was almost grateful that Deceit had saved him the struggle. 

“Don’t you agree?” The snake repeated, his voice hardening. Fear lept within Virgil, until he could do nothing but answer, and the only answer was the truth.

“I agree.”

* * *

“I just think it's too dangerous.” said Roman, for the third time. “Remus is down there! We don’t even know what else. Besides, who knows what would happen to Thomas if all the light sides just got up and left.”

“You stay then, Roman!” said Patton, losing more and more control by the moment. He couldn’t believe they were arguing about this. Virgil was below, trapped, scared. Every moment they wasted was another moment where he was suffering.

“Patton, I have to say I temporarily agree with the Prince, in this instance.” said Logan, still in the same, stiff tones that had worried Patton before. “As much as I preferred having Anxiety in the light realm, I don’t think the prize outweighs the risk in this scenario. Deceit isn’t going to hurt Virgil in any significant way, he sees him as too important, and he will force the Duke to do the same. We, on the other hand, would be in significant danger. We do not know what waits below. Virgil escaped once. We do not know if the rest of us would be so lucky.”

“Don’t you see? That doesn’t matter, none of it matters if we don’t save Virgil! With him here, with us, Thomas was so much happier than when he was in the dark realm. We were all so much happier! Logan, Virgil could help get your points across by appealing to Thomas’s feelings, by showing what could go wrong if he didn’t listen to you. Roman, Virgil’s nagging made Thomas more productive than ever, and because he was here and we could talk things through with him, Thomas was more confident on stage than ever before!”

“I understand your point, Patton, but I still think it is too risky.” said Logan.

“And that’s all well and good, but what about you, Patton? Why are you so keen to rescue Anxiety? I get he wasn’t that - dislikable towards the end, but you two aren’t exactly soulmates.” said Roman, obviously trying to be as kind as possible.

“I’m Morality! I understand what’s right and wrong, and so did Virgil. We agreed a lot, which meant Thomas agreed with us more. It also means I know that it’s wrong to leave Virgil in the dark realm!”

“I still think-”

“Logan, think of this as a chance for you to explore something new. If you go to the dark realm, you will be more knowledgeable about Thomas as a person. You will have seen more than the little fraction of the mind where we live. I’m sure that would be beneficial to keeping him informed! And Roman, Virgil is a damsel in distress in need of saving. Are you really going to leave him with the villain, because you’re too scared? What sort of Prince are you?”

Roman was blushing uncontrollably.

“I’m not scared, I was just concerned about- I didn’t know if- No, you know what? You’re right, Patton.” Roman threw himself to his feet, pulling his sword from his belt and brandishing it high. “Let’s go and rescue Virgil!”

* * *

Logan listened to the others deciding what to do when they reached the dark realm and wondered miserably how he was going to stop them.


	9. Chapter Eight - Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rescue time! Slight warning - There is vague descriptions of injuries in this chapter but nothing too vivid. Message me if you would prefer a summary.

The light sides were at a loss for words at the sight of the dark realm. It stretched on endlessly ahead of them, and fell endlessly below them, so everything but the vast empty space before them was lost in darkness. The glistening black rock and dark, swirling fog was both beautiful and horrifying. Welcoming and hostile. There was just so much of nothing; Patton had never seen this much space. The light realm was so small - just a narrow corridor stretching off endlessly until it reached the very furthest edge of Thomas’ mind. He knew the size of the realm meant nothing, the size of the light realm was only as it was because the light sides needed to be as close to Thomas as possible, where the dark sides were meant to do nothing but shout. Still, Patton wouldn’t have been surprised if the dark realm stretched deep into Thomas’ heart, and he could help but wonder what that made him.

The staircase looked very different from this side. It wasn’t carpeted, and steady, with banisters to keep its users safe, but was instead a steep, spiralling tower of steps, uneven and perilous. Virgil had climbed these to escape the dark realm, and he had been forced back down them. With every step, Patton was more and more sure that he was doing the right thing. No one should stay here against their will.

“Is everyone clear on the plan?” asked Roman, about twenty minutes into their descent. Logan cast him an accusing glare - they had decided not to talk on their journey in case someone was listening, but Patton was glad of the break in the silence.

“Yep. As long as everyone plays their part, I don’t see what can go wrong!”

“Good. Do you think the dark sides know we’re here already?”

“Probably.” said Logan, “I get the impression that Janus rules this land. No one enters or leaves without him knowing. We don’t know what lies down here. If we have Dr Picani and Sleep in the light realm, there is no telling what manner of creature could dwell in the dark.”

Patton shivered, hating the idea that they could be being watched and not even know it. It certainly felt like they weren’t alone, but Patton told himself again and again that that feeling was because he was with his friends. He wasn’t alone, and that was a good thing.

By the time they reached the bottom of the stairs, time had run away. They might have been gone for an hour, they might have been gone for days. There was no telling. None of them mentioned the effect this might have on Thomas, none of them wanted to think about it. They weren’t gone, but the further away from the light realm they moved, the less they could sense about the intricacies of Thomas’ thoughts and feelings. Would they, too, be reduced to shouting their influence? Patton shuddered, and pushed the idea back to the back of his mind.

Now they were on ground level, the featureless land they had been making their way towards had turned into something completely new and fascinating. A great forest grew from the black stone a short distance away, a curling trail of smoke emerging from the treetops where a house must be hidden. The image was unsettlingly beautiful within the darkness that surrounded it. There was no darkness there, just luscious green plants and the smell of wood-smoke. Even though they were much too far away to hear anything, Patton could make out the pleasing trickle of a steam. It was eerily enticing.

In the other direction, there was a mountain of broken stones, where once had stood some black structure. Parts of it still stood, resembling something like Stonehenge. If Patton was to put a name to it, he would have said it looked like the remains of a maze, but even that was a stretch. He tried not to think about what had reduced it to rubble. 

The pile of pushed away thoughts was building at the back of his mind. 

The Duke’s castle stood a great distance away. It was easily the largest thing in sight. Great spires reached upwards from every turret and tower, like claws stretching towards the realm of the light. Each window was tinted either red or green, and the protruding light spilled over the land, casting ghostly shadows and glinting reflections over everything below. The walls were covered with moss, but each stone was perfectly intact. It seemed more like a fortress than a castle, and yet there could be no mistaking who was ‘King’ down here.

But they weren’t here for the King.

They were here for the Snake that held the King’s leash.

* * *

“I think that’s your mark, Logan.” whispered Roman, pointing to his twin’s castle. “We’ll meet back here, with Virgil, okay?”

“I think if Remus is in his castle, he won’t pose an issue, so there is no need for me to distract him. We only need to put that phase of the plan into action if the Duke is being used to guard Virgil in some way.” said Logan, calmly. He never had a problem keeping any emotion out of his voice, on the rare occurrence that he felt emotion. Right now, he was worried. Every logical sense within him was telling him it would be better if Virgil stayed here, and the light sides went home, but that wasn’t going to happen. Patton and Roman were both convinced that saving Virgil was the only option. He also knew that if the light sides tried to save Virgil, and failed, they were much less likely to try again. Which meant it was his job to make them fail.

“So? Where do you think they are?” asked Patton, fiddling with the jumper tied uselessly around his neck and casting frightful glances at the surrounding structures.

“There is a house in the forest.” said Roman, waving his sword in that direction. “A fire is lit! They must be there.”

“I agree.” said Logic. He didn’t agree, Deceit would suspect that they would come after Virgil, so he wouldn’t make it that easy for them, but this seemed the perfect opportunity to set the others in the wrong direction.

“Wait, no, that’s no guarantee of anything!” said Patton, much to Logan’s annoyance. “Janus is easily powerful enough to set a fire going forever! That house could have been empty for years for all we know. I think he would take Virgil somewhere more secure. Somewhere hidden.”

“How are we meant to find it then?” scoffed Roman, “Deceit's job is to hide things!”

“Well, we need to think like he would then.” said Patton, determination rich in his voice. Logan was beginning to realise that Morality would be very unlikely to leave at all without Virgil. Willingly, that was. Maybe the Duke would be useful after all.

“Think like him? We’re not evil, Patton! We are valorous and courageous and-”

Patton clicked his fingers, experimentally. Instantly, the rock beneath their feet began to fall away, and they were descending into the depths of the dark realm. The drop slowed as quickly as it had begun, until they were moving smoothly downwards through the stone.

“Patton!” Roman swayed, dramatically trying to keep his balance, “What did you do?”

“I just clicked! I thought, you know, Deceit always wants everything to be clever and smooth and neat, so maybe he used his powers to make a hiding place. It looks like I was right.”

“It seems so.” said Logan, regarding the descending rock beneath them with interest. Magic, on this scale, wasn’t dealt in the light realm. It appeared that Janus had spent a long time collecting power down here, and he was putting it to good use. It was only luck on Patton’s part that he had discovered the key to Deceit’s secret so quickly.

The moving rock came to a shuddering halt, and they stepped off into a completely unfamiliar hallway. It was short, with two passageways off either side and a dead end in view. The walls were completely white, and there were no windows. Gold framed the doorways and dripped from the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. This was certainly Janus’ hideaway, he had taken no liberties in hiding his style.

“Okay,” Roman whispered, quieter than Logan had ever heard the Prince speak, “So, I think we found where they’re keeping Virgil.”

Patton was practically buzzing with excitement. “We did it! Okay, we need to stick to the plan. Stay together until we need to split up.”

“I think we should split up.” said Logan, “We didn’t anticipate this many different pathways. It would be quicker to pick one each and explore.”

“No, no that wouldn’t work.” said Patton, “The plan doesn’t work if we’re at different stages. What if Roman goes in to save Vigil before I distract Janus? We need to stay together.” Morality looked confused for a moment. “I thought you would be the first to point that out, Logan. Are you okay?”

“Great.” said Roman, “It’s our very first rescue mission and Logic is broken!”

“I am not broken.” Logan forced himself to keep collected. “What I was suggesting was that we should split up and meet back here once we’ve all found our targets. It would mean we could get a better idea of this place faster if we split up.”

“I still think we would be safer to stay together.” pressed Patton, “I mean, I get where you’re coming from, but I would take safety over speed right now.”

“I agree with the Walking Sweater. Let’s go!”

Roman started forward with a swagger, turning down the nearest passageway on the left. A moment later, he came flying back round the corner, the colour drained from his face.

“My brother is down there.” He mouthed, shuffling further and further from the passage. A tuneless humming met their ears, unmistakably Remus.

“Did he see you?” asked Patton, watching the corner fearfully. Roman shook his head, and the two sides both turned to look at Logan. He sighed. He had accepted this job for two reasons, one, that it would be least likely to come into effect, meaning he would have more opportunity to delay the others. The other reason was something he wouldn’t share in a lifetime.

Without another word, he walked forwards, moving past the hallway containing the Duke without even glancing down it. He knew Remus would see him and follow him, and that he wouldn’t even look in the direction of the others, leaving the passage vacant and ready for their use.

Just as he had predicted, a moment later he heard Remus’ footsteps behind him, his high-heeled boots clicking on the hard white floor. He knew the others would already be on their way to help Virgil, and everything in him was telling him to turn around and tell Remus to follow them. Almost everything. One sly, sinful voice at the back of his head had taken the wheel. Without a word, he led Remus into an opposite passage and then through a door beyond it. The room was completely bare, with the same white walls and golden accents as the hallway. He reached the opposite end to the door before turning.

There stood the Duke, the door shut behind him, the two of them alone in the empty room.

* * *

Patton hoped Logan would be okay. Out of the three of them, he was best equipped to deal with the Duke. He didn’t have history with him like Roman, and he wasn’t likely to get as scared as Patton would get, but there was no telling what Remus would do to a light side alone, without Janus to call him off. There was a reason Remus had been cast down here in the first place.

Roman and Patton moved through the hallway in silence. There were no doors leading off, but every now and then they passed a window that looked directly through into an adjacent room. Patton couldn’t see the point in windows between rooms, but it was certainly helpful in this instance. If Virgil was in one of these rooms, they would be able to see him instantly.

“There he is!” said Roman. Patton was just as surprised as the Prince sounded, he hadn’t expected it to be so easy, but there he was. Through a window to the right, in the room next to the hallway in which they stood, was Virgil. At first glance, he looked unharmed. At closer inspection, however, Patton could clearly see the damage done. It wasn’t rope that tied him to a chair, but a thick golden snake, it’s head resting peacefully in his lap. He was facing away from them, but they could still make out the bruise over his right eye. Spots of blood dotted the floor around his chair. His head lolled on his shoulder; he was either sleeping or had been beaten unconscious.

“Oh Virgil.” breathed Patton, growing teary at the sight of his son in such a state. “This is all wrong.”

“You need to find Janus.” choked Roman, obviously as pained as Patton at the sight of Virgil like this. 

“Yes, yes.” Patton struggled to find his thoughts. They could see a door on the opposite side of the room to the window. The way in must be in the next passage across. You stay here. Give me ten minutes to find Janus, and then get him. I’ll keep Deceit busy.”

“Okay. Good luck.”

Patton smiled with a confidence fast leaving him before turning and speeding back down the way they had come. There was no sign of Remus, meaning Logan was doing his job. Patton wasn’t sure what to make of that; something was wrong with Logic, but that would have to wait. He needed to focus.

Without pausing, he turned left straight from one passageway into another and began running down the new one. Now, the room with Virgil in it would be on his left, between him and Roman.

A door ahead of him opened, and he skidded to a halt. Janus emerged.

He was looking over his shoulder, and for a moment Patton wondered if he should hide, but he couldn’t. This was why he was here. He needed to keep Deceit busy.

Janus turned around a moment later, and his chance was lost as the Snake set eyes on him.

“Why, Patton! What a surprise.”

“You shouldn’t be surprised.” said Patton, with more courage than he felt. “You took my friend. I’m here to get him back.”


	10. Chapter Nine - Values and Vices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is like an unholy mixture of fluffy angst. Enjoy!

Remus wasn’t in his full Duke get-up anymore. Instead, he was wearing what Logan could only describe as his relaxing clothes. A tiny, green skirt revealed most of the his pale, muscular thighs. Fishnet tights hugged his legs and studded boots reached up to his ankles. On his torso he wore nothing but a cropped vest top, which made a jarring change from his usual swamping attire. Logan found himself scanning Remus' outfit once - twice - three times before being able to focus on the creature himself.

“Well hello Logic. I wasn’t expecting to see you, of all sides, on this little rescue mission.”

“I couldn’t exactly let the others come down here alone.” he said, curtly, struggling to focus on what the Duke was saying.

“You let us take Virgil.” Remus pointed out, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face like a jack-o-lantern. 

“Yes. It seemed to me that there must be a reason Virgil originated from down here. He belongs here.”

“By that Logic-” Remus paused to do the most forthright wink Logan had ever witnessed. “I should still be upstairs. Are you saying that you miss me, Logan?” He pouted, clasping his hands in front of him and swinging back and forwards.

“If you remember, I was always against your banishment.” said Logan. It was true; he had argued fiercely against the others when it had come to sending the Duke away. Like always, there had been too many emotions involved for anyone to listen to him. Roman was so distraught at the very prospect of sending his twin away that he had been in too much of a state to see any alternative. Patton had spent the time bordering the line between fear and sadness. He had never wanted to send the Duke away, but he was too fearful of Remus’ ideas to be truly open to the idea of him staying.

“I do remember that.” The Duke was moving steady forwards. With each step, he swung one leg in front of the other, the movements dramatic. Crafted to be noticed. “And I never understood it. We never spent much time together, did we Loggie?”

“We didn’t. Through Thomas’ childhood, you were still very close with Roman. Meanwhile I was still exploring the world, trying to make sense of the things around us. Through his teenage years, you resigned yourself to the room you shared with Roman. I think that was when Janus first started to have an influence. It was when you first placed distance between yourself and your twin. When Thomas became an adult, Roman made the decision that you were too dangerous to be allowed near Thomas, and not long after that, we left you for Janus to take care of.”

“Nice summary, but I was there for the whole thing.” The Duke pulled a face, “And I don’t fancy a recap.”

“My apologies, I was explaining why we never had the chance to talk.”

“Yeah, yeah I know all of that.”

Logan was surprised at how - normal Remus was acting. It was almost as if he was restraining himself. This wasn’t the sort of interaction he had been picturing; it was civil. It was probably the calmest conversation he’d had in a long time.

“But you never explained why you were on my side with everything. You have no reason to be! I’m in no way logical. I’m random, I’m impulse. Of course, I get the attraction here-” He gestured to his body, running a finger along his own thigh, “But I thought you would be the last wasp to fly to my honey.”

Logan laughed, unable to help himself. Amusement was one emotion he didn’t feel the need to repress, and he was certainly employing it now.

“Remus, you’re the side that makes the most sense to me. The others, sometimes they make sense and sometimes they’re random, but you can always be counted on to be consistent. You're always random. Always. And that what makes you of value.”

“But I’m the Duke! My ideas are worthless, they make no sense, they’re not meant to! They’re intrusive and scary and-”

“It’s not your fault that you’re like that.” Logan knew he had things to say, things that Remus needed to hear. He knew he was right; he always was, and he knew that once the Duke heard things from his point of view, things would change between them. Forget Virgil. Forget the others. This was the reason he had come to the dark realm.

“Explain.” said Remus, his hoarse voice softening as he stared at Logan. His eyes were still wide, his smile still threatening, but there was something else behind his expression. Something asking for an explanation, hoping to be understood. Logan smiled. That was his job. To understand.

“Roman represents what Thomas deems positive creativity. You are his darker thoughts. Due to the path Thomas had taken, namely YouTube, he has found more occasion to look towards Roman. His audience is mainly made up of young, struggling people living in a deteriorating world with their futures uncertain, so they will look online for the positivity that they cannot get in the real world. That is the reason Roman is held at such value. Just because Thomas has not been able to utilise your ideas more, for the sake of his audiance and his income, doesn’t mean they are invalid.”

“Okay, smart pants. I get that. It makes sense. But explain this to me: where would someone be able to use my ideas? I know what I am. No one wants to hear the garbage I come up with. That’s why I’m a dark side now.”

“You didn’t let me finish.” said Logan, taking a step towards Remus so they were barely a metre apart. He was getting excited now. He could feel the other side opening up, listening to him, understanding the explanations he offered. He could almost get drunk off the feeling. “Your ideas deteriorated in usefulness the less they got listened to. Thomas couldn’t see the value in them, so you stopped trying to produce the value, and instead enlisted a shock factor.”

“Was there ever value in my ideas?” There. That was the real question. The question that had been plaguing Remus for his existence, and still hung over him even as he slumbered in his hell castle.

“Of course there was.” said Logan, taking the final step forward and reaching out to brush a hand against Remus’ cheek. “If Thomas had listened to you, I guarantee he would have reached further, gone farther, than he could have ever hoped to otherwise.”

“How?” The Duke's voice had gone weak. He had closed his eyes at Logan’s touch, was leaning into his hand.

“Think of the most revered artists. Tim Burton. Stephen King. Quentin Tarantino . These people have gotten to where they are now because they listened to their Dukes. In literature, in movies, on stage, dark themes create the most beautiful, the most beloved works. On YouTube, Roman's happy, prancy stuff was fine. Beyond, more mature ideas are needed. There should be depictions of horror and war and disease. People need to see the reality of hate and sex and death. Things that don’t get taught in schools are instead taught by artists, and you could have taught so many lessons, Remus. If Thomas wanted to go further, he could have listened to you. He should have listened to you.”

Remus fell to his knees. Logan followed him, letting the dark side brace himself against him. They knelt before each other, each of them open, knowing they could see each other. He understood the pain, for once. He understood the man before him, and that was why he loved him.

* * *

“You’ve come to get him back?” Janus repeated, seeming surprised. Patton made sure to remember who he was. Deceit.

“You had no right to just - take him! If you had something you wanted to talk about, we could have discussed it! All of us! There are alternatives to evil, Janus. I believe you are good. I know why you have to do the things you do, you want to do the best for Thomas, but this is wrong.”

“Oh Patton, of course that would work! Because talking everything through isn’t what got us into this whole mess in the first place. Besides, you obviously know right from wrong. Those two things are fixed, no matter what way you look at them.” Janus took three light steps forwards, and Patton scurried backwards. He didn’t want to end up tied to a chair next to Virgil.

“Okay, I get that some things change depending on the situation, but some things are always wrong. Like kidnapping someone against their will and holding them captive while they’re hurt and afraid!”

Deceit smiled, the human half of his face twitching with the smooth movement and the snake half remaining emotionless.

“You said it yourself, Patton. I do what’s best for Thomas. Virgil will hurt Thomas if he stays in your realm. He might even kill him. Would you class murder as one of those things that are ‘always’ wrong?”

“I - well, yes, I would. It’s never okay to take a life, but Virgil would never do it on purpose! He would do everything in his power to keep Thomas safe. He does do that already.”

“Okay, but don’t you agree it is right to take any precautions necessary to avoid a scenario where death might occur?”

“Um, yes, but-”

“So removing the worry of Virgil doubting himself and his judgement is also right.”

Patton spluttered helplessly, knowing that what he was saying was the right thing, knowing that Janus had to be wrong, but having no idea how to express it. Truthfully, he was terrified. Janus couldn’t be less than ten steps from the door behind which Roman was saving Virgil. If Patton failed, everyone failed. They failed Thomas.

“Don’t get so caught up with ‘right and wrong’, Patton. Not everything fits in two boxes. You need to think bigger.” The snake turned away from him, sweeping his cloak in his wake. “Virgil’s absence may have a short term negative effect on Thomas, but I trust you to help him see the bright side of things. Keep him focused on his work, make sure Roman and Logan keep functioning, and the pain will subside.”

“No.” Patton didn’t know where the defiance within him was coming from. Through his life, he had pushed Thomas to move away from trouble, to take the kindest route, to let people live as they wanted to live, but here he was drawing the line. “He’s my friend. I won’t let you take him away, not from Thomas and not from me.”

Janus turned back around, tilting his head to the side, still wearing that all-knowing smirk. Patton tried not to recoil at the pity reflected in it.

“Your friend? He’s anxiety. He’s worry and doubt and fear. You are hope and laughter and kindness. What qualities could you possibly want from him?”

“Janus, that’s what you don’t understand.” Patton took a step forward. He could do this. He could appeal to Deceit's better nature. He could make the devil understand. “Virgil does worry, but he always hopes he’s wrong. He doubts everything we do, but he laughs and smiles when it goes right in the end. He’s scared of every step we take, but when we make someone else feel happy, he knows every fear was worth it. He is hope and smiles and kindness because that's what Thomas is, and we're part of Thomas, no matter what you hide from him. Thomas is a good person. Virgil doesn’t hold Thomas back, and he doesn’t put him in danger. He means that every victory we earn is ten times more special, and every safety we can ensure is a million times better than what we had.”

“He left us.” said the snake, simply. There was no emotion in his voice. No amusement or pity. His tone had even lost its silky smoothness. He was as cold as ice. “He left us alone down here, with the monsters and the Other. Without him, we didn’t feel fear. We don’t consider our decisions. We just felt the pain. We felt the loss and the abandonment and there was nothing we could do.” Janus didn’t even sound sad. Just - nothing. “You may be happier with him up there, but we were nothing without him down here.”

“Then let’s talk.” said Patton, earnestly, “Let’s talk about it. All of us. There’s always an answer, Janus. I trust you. It’s going to be okay.”

* * *

Virgil had his eyes closed. It lessened the pain by a fraction. His head had fallen onto his shoulder a long time ago, and he hadn't mustered the strength to lift it. The parts of his body that weren’t numb burned instead. He could feel the snake in his lap. It was sleeping, but its weight was a constant reminder to be afraid. He wasn’t safe. He would never be safe again.

There was an almighty crashing sound to his left. Surprise momentarily chased away the pain, and Virgil turned his head, opening his eyes to see Roman landing on the floor next to him, a shower of glass raining down from the window he had just crashed through.

There was perhaps a second of stunned silence. A second where Anxiety and Creativity just stared at each other, one of them unsure of how to move forwards and the other too shocked to speak.

“What the hell are you doing here?” hissed Virgil, when he finally realised exactly what was happening. He cast an anxious glance at the door. Would Janus have heard? Remus? He had told them not to come after him. He’d told them-

“You’ve got to be the rudest damsel in distress I’ve ever rescued.” snipped Roman, drawing his sword and pointing it at the snake. “Unhand him, you slithery slider!”

The snake raised its head and flicked it's tongue towards the Prince. Then, it opened its mouth wide and they both watched as fangs unfolded from it's gums. 

“You really scared her, didn't you? She's practically quacking in fear.” Virgil had no idea where the sarcasm was coming from. He seemed to have descended so far into panic that he had re-emerged into the eye of the storm. Something told him the calm wouldn’t last. 

Footsteps approached from the door.


	11. Chapter Ten - Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you in pain, I hope this is a slightly more bearable ending xD. Just a warning - there is knife use in this chapter, but nothing graphic.

“Hide.” said Virgil, bluntly. He was still trying to process what was going on. Roman was here. Did that mean the others were, too? Was Logan here? He still hadn’t had time to process what had happened back in the light realm. Logan had just - let the dark sides take him away. Was Patton here? The idea of Morality in the dark realm was sickening. Virgil pushed the thought away, refusing to give heed to the images that flashed in front of his eyes. Patton couldn’t be here. The others wouldn’t have let that happen.

“Who is it?” asked Roman, raising his sword to face the door.

“I don’t know, just hide!”

The Prince hesitated a moment longer, before turning and leaping back through the remains of the window. He had only just gotten round the corner before the door flew open.

Remus walked in. Virgil tried to shrink away from the Duke, hating the chair that forced him to choose fight over flight.

“Hello Angsty!” he sang, striding towards him, stopping directly in front of Virgil and leaning forwards so they were face to face. Virgil tried to pull himself backwards to get keep Remus in sight. His left eye was swollen shut, and the very possibility of the Duke being able to do things so close to him without him being able to see was terrifying.

“What do you want?” He asked, hating the fear in his voice, knowing that hiding it was no longer an option.

“Just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Deceit said-”

“I know Janus said I couldn't hurt you anymore, and I’m not going to! I bet that’s a surprise, isn’t it? You expect me to make origami out of your fingers or see how deep your nostrils are, but nope, this is a hands-free visit! You can relax.”

Virgil didn’t know what the Duke was planning, but the promise that he wouldn’t touch him wasn’t exactly ‘relaxing’. Remus could get creative.

He reminded himself that Roman was nearby. He knew the Prince would never face his twin, that there was just too much fear and resentment between them for any interaction, either positive or negative, but his presence helped. He wasn’t alone.

“What do you want then? Don’t you have better things to do?”

“Better than tormenting you? Never!” Remus seemed insulted at the very suggestion. “You’ve escaped me for a year. Do you not think you deserve to pay back all the fun you stole from me? It’s been so boring without you down here!”

“Remus, what do you want me to say? I missed you? I wished you were there?”

“I’m not asking you to say anything. Who knows what tiny little insects might fly in your mouth every time you open it.” The Duke laughed, leaning ever closer to Virgil’s face. “But, if you really want to rush things, I did have a reason for coming here.

Without warning, Remus grabbed hold of Virgil’s chin and roughly forced his head to the right, so he could see the door with his good eye. For an instance, he couldn’t process anything other than the horror of The Duke’s hand on his face. All he could feel was the warm, wet feeling of skin on skin. The Duke's hand was so close to Virgil’s neck. Why didn't he let go? Would he ever let go?

And then his vision focused itself, as if forcing him to take in reality. He realised who stood in the doorway. He saw who hid in the shadows, his head tilting to the side as he watched the interaction between Virgil and Remus, and everything got so much worse.

Logan moved forwards into the light, his steps smooth and even. He made no attempt to get Remus to remove his grip on Virgil. He did nothing. Said nothing. Just moved closer. Virgil didn’t know what to do. The voice of reason was standing side by side with chaos.

Thinking became impossible. His mind was floating in an open ocean, and there was no sign of land. His breathing slowed, his heart seemed to crumple in on itself and cease to work entirely. Every bone in his body was pulling down, begging him to sink, to sleep, to leave and never return. There was no moving forward from this. There was no putting one foot in front of the other. He was frozen, parallelised, stuck.

He snapped back to the present.

Remus’ hand was gone from his chin, and was instead wrapped around Logan’s waist. Virgil looked up at them, aghast, as Logan looked up at Remus and smiled. A real smile. A true smile.

Virgil had never seen Logan smile like that before.

“You- you-” He struggled to even ask what was happening. Where was he meant to begin?

“Calm down, Virgil, you’ll strain your wounds.” Logan's voice held nothing but sense, as if he didn't even realise the horror he was creating. Could Logan not see who he was standing next to? Did he not care? Or was it worse; did he care, and still think it was okay? 

“How long?” asked Anxiety, bitterly. He should have seen this. How long had Logan been feeding Thomas with Janus’ lies? How long had he been arm in arm with the Duke? When had it all started?

“I don’t understand the question.” said Logan, simply. Maybe Logic didn’t understand the damage he could do if he, Thomas’ sanity, his reason, was to become a dark side. If Anxiety had been heightened and incompetent from down here, what would it be like for Logic?

“How long have you been helping the dark sides?”

“I haven’t been helping the dark sides.” Logan sounded, if anything, surprised at the accusation. “I simply agree with them in certain cases. For example, I thought it was wrong that you lived in the land of the light, so I didn’t stop them from taking you away.”

“You thought it was wrong? What, and you think that he should be back upstairs?” Virgil demanded, glaring at Remus.

“I do. The Duke’s contributions are what Thomas is lacking. Without him, I fear Thomas will never reach the goals he works towards.”

“Liar!” The shout came from behind Virgil. A moment later, Roman had lept in front of him, swinging his sword directly at Remus. The Duke let out a barking laugh and met his brother’s weapon with his own morning star, which appeared out of nowhere. The twins strained at each other, the sword locked with the morning star, the fight frozen with mutual power and hatred.

“Ro Ro! So good to see you. How long has it been? Something like elven years? It is really time for a family reunion.”

“Shut up.” Roman spat, his face twisted with rage and pain. He pushed against his brother, and the two moved together through the room, still stuck in a movement meant to destroy each other, like some hateful dance.

Logan was watching the twins with something like amusement on his face. Virgil strained against the snake coils still holding him, and the creature hissed with displeasure. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t escape. Logan had betrayed them. Roman was falling apart in his fury, and the Duke had never looked more gleeful. It did seem, at least, that Patton had been left upstairs, but the threat of the arrival of Janus was still very much overhanging. Deceit wouldn’t be gone for long.

“Logan,” shouted Roman, still desperately trying to force his sword upon his brother, “What the hell?”

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re siding with my brother? My evil twin?”

“He's doing more than siding with me, twirly.” Remus pouted his lips and winked. 

“What? What does he mean?” Roman turned furiously, his head swivelling between Logan and the Duke.

“Well, the Duke has made me feel- things.”

“Well, what kind of things!” shouted Roman, incredulous, still seeming determined not to realise what was happening.

“Feelings.” Was all Logan said in reply.

“Remus made you feel feelings?”

“Yes. For a short amount of time, I thought that I had some bizarre disease, but eventually I came to the conclusion that I have feelings for your brother.”

“Okay, let me get this straight.” Roman pulled the sword away from his brother and turned to face Logan, his eyes wide and mouth ajar. “You stand across from me your entire life and don’t feel a thing, and then you spend two minutes alone with the Duke and suddenly he’s the love of your life!”

“You’d better believe it, swordy.” sneered Remus, “This must mean I’m sexier than you.”

“Logan, explain!” Roman shouted, desperately ignoring his brother.

“I think Remus just explained it. He is, um, sexier than you. Personally, I find him interesting to talk to, I think his ideas are valuable, under positive influences, and I find the challenges posed by a relationship with the Duke attractive. It makes sense, Roman. I was never going to engage with someone ordinary, someone who let themselves make irrational decisions based on emotions, whose mood changes from day to day. I can’t keep up with that. No. Instead, I want someone who could challenge me intellectually. I want someone who I can rely on to be consistent. That is what I get from Remus.”

“I- What-” Roman spluttered. His sword clanged as it hit the floor.

Virgil didn’t know what to do. It was obvious now that Logan would be no help, and the Duke was still in the room. He was still in danger. Roman was too distracted to even think about the rescue. The snake hissed as he attempted to untangle himself from its coils. There was no escape.

“As much as I hate to break up this little meeting-” came a voice from the door, “I’m afraid things have to get moving.”

They turned as one to see Janus. In one hand, he clasped Patton close to his chest. In the other he held a golden knife, it’s blade curving in a slalom, pressed to Patton’s throat.

“Patton!” Virgil started, unthinking. He tried to stand up - he would take the chair and the snake with him if he had to - but he couldn’t move. Once again, he was in Deciet’s power.

“Okay now, let’s all be sensible.” Janus moved forwards into the room, pushing Patton ahead of him. Morality didn't look hurt, but they could all see the fear in his eyes. His glasses were askew, his steps uneven and panicky. Virgil couldn’t believe what was happening. Patton shouldn’t be here, he couldn’t be here. Patton was his best friend, his first true friend. The sight of him in Janus’ clutches made him feel sick. The idea that they could lose him wound tight around his neck and squeezed.

“Roman, go and stand next to Virgil. Remus, come here.”

Without a word, the twins separated. Roman’s nearness was no comfort, not with Patton still in so much danger. Virgil had no idea what Janus would stoop to, and he didn’t want to find out.

“I’m going to explain what’s going to happen, and then you’re going to do what I say. If you don’t, I will hurt Patton.”

Lies. It had to be a lie. Patton was nice to everyone, including the dark sides. Janus was malicious and manipulative, but he wasn’t evil. Even he wouldn’t hurt Patton.

“You light sides never should have come here. Do you realise what a state Thomas will be in now? There is a reason the light realm is so small. You need to stay close to him, to be aware of what he is experiencing. The properties that you represent require details that you cannot glean from down here.”

“We’re not leaving without Virgil.” said Patton, trying to keep an eye on the knife under his chin.

“Patton-” Roman started, obviously about to warn him not to talk, but Janus spoke over him.

“You can take Anxiety with you. Bear in mind that I am not allowing him to stay, in the light realm indefinitely, but- for now. For Thomas’ sake. We will discuss an agreement about him at a later date. Now, you need to go.”

He removed the knife from Patton’s neck, and Morality stepped away, but turned back to face his captor.

“Thank you Janus. I promise you, it will be okay.”

“Hm.” Deceit clicked his fingers, and the snake that bound Virgil unwrapped itself from around him before slithering out of sight. Virgil made sure it was well and truly gone before getting to his feet and taking several shaky steps back, still not trusting Janus enough to take his eyes off of him.

“Let’s go.” said Roman, quietly.

The three of them walked back through the broken window. Only once they had passed through the shattered glass did Patton look back.

“Logan? Aren’t you coming?” The innocence in his voice broke Virgil’s pummelled heart.

“He’s not.” said Roman, harshly. Virgil didn’t look back, he didn’t want to see the look on Logan’s face.

They made their way back through the corridor, Virgil following the others’ lead. Patton showed him a smooth, flat stone which lifted them through the ground until they stood on the floor of the dark realm. Virgil made sure only to look at the staircase. He would never look upon this land again.

With him being the state he was, it took them much longer to climb the stairs. For hours and hours, they climbed.


	12. Chapter Eleven - Who's Logan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even I admit this one is mean. Sorry for uploading a bit later, I've had a busy day but it's been really fun :)

“Where the hell have you been?” Remy was standing at the top of the stairs, Emile standing anxiously behind him. They had been waiting for them.

“Getting Virgil back!” announced Roman, as if the rescue had gone precisely as planned, “What’s the issue?”

“What’s the issue? You guys just walked off and left and went away and -”

“Let’s just say Thomas has gone into his avatar state.” said Emile, taking hold of Remy’s hand and pulling him back, if only to stop him throwing himself at the light sides.

“His avatar state?” The tension in Virgil’s voice was obvious. Patton resisted the urge to give him a hug. “What’s that meant to mean?”

“Well, he’s just sitting there. He’s in the lounge and he’s just not responding. He won’t acknowledge Remy, he hasn’t called for me, the changing room just straight up locked. We don’t know what to do.”

“We need to move, now.” snapped Virgil, already making his way down the corridor.

“Virgil…” Even Roman sounded worried now, “You know we can’t speak to Thomas unless we’re summoned? I think we just need to give him time to feel our effects. He’ll be okay.”

“What if he’s not?” Anxiety snapped, not slowing his pace. “I’ve got an idea, but it might be difficult to carry out. Remy, come here.”

Patton shuffled to the side to let Sleep through, taking up the space next to Emile.

“Is it really bad?” He whispered, trying not to let his own fear show through.

“I don’t know.” said the therapist, “It’s scary to look at, but he’s not in any physical danger. He just doesn't have a way to respond to the things around him.”

Virgil continued leading them through the corridor, passing their rooms and the boarded up doorway to the changing room. Patton had never ventured further than this; he hadn’t had a need to. Virgil obviously had. He led with an alien confidence, obviously determined to accomplish whatever plan he was concocting.

“Remy, can you force Thomas to sleep?” His voice had gone deep; threatening. Patton could almost see him visualising the worst possible scenarios of each idea.

“Whaaaaa?”

“You heard me. If you really tried, could you make him sleep?”

“It’s kind of a two way thing, dude. He decides when he wants to do my thing. I mean, if he doesn’t sleep for a long time he’s a lot less argumentative when I try and persuade him, but I don’t think I could ever force him to do it. It’s too - intrusive. Like a piece of himself knocking him unconscious. I don’t know if there would be damage or- or anything. Gurl it’s just too wrong.”

“I don’t care if it’s wrong. You’re going to do it.”

“But why?”

“Because we’re going to talk to Thomas in his dreams.”

The party ground to a shocked halt.

“Thomas’ dreams are the products of our unconscious work.” said Roman, “They’re my impact when I can’t control my impact. How the hell are we going to get into his dreams? We sleep when Thomas does. When Remy puts him to sleep, he puts all of us to sleep.”

“I can keep awake when Thomas is asleep.” said Vigil.

“What - really? You mean you can just do whatever you want all through the night and we can’t even wake up?” Patton tried to comprehend the idea. What did Virgil do all night?

“I still need sleep. It might be a part of being Anxiety, but I can stay awake if I want to, or if I can’t get to sleep in the first place. If I can stay awake, there’s no reason you guys can’t too. Here’s my thinking: if we enter the dreamscape at the precise moment that Thomas falls asleep, we will be conscious and able to control his dreams. Roman, you’ll need to recreate the living room. We need Thomas to think he’s awake, and Patton you need to stop him from freaking out, because I guarantee it will feel weird.”

“What are you going to do?” asked Roman, sounding more nervous than Patton had ever heard him.

“I’m going to do what I need to. He needs to forget this ever happened, he needs to think he wasted a day sleeping and woke up to the conversation we’re going to have. Does that make sense?”

“So, he’s going to think that the time we were in the dark realm is a dream and the time he spends with us, in the dreamscape, is reality?” said Patton, slowly, trying to make sense of the crazy plan. 

“Exactly.”

“But won’t he realise it was a dream when he, you know, wakes up from it?” asked the Prince.

“I’ll convince him that he fell asleep since the conversation. Like a short little cat nap.” said Remy, his voice tight.

“Perfect. Come on, we need to hurry.” The group of them broke into a run.

Patton couldn’t believe how far back into Thomas’ unconscious mind they were able to delve. The corridor went on forever, and then just kept going. He had no idea how long they were expected to move for, but he knew that the knowledge of Thomas’ state was hanging over all of them. Collectively, it was their job to keep him safe and happy and motivated. Collectively, they’d made the decision to leave, none of them turning back to check if he was okay, none of them daring to consider what would happen if they pressed onward. Now they were facing the consequences.

The door to the dream chamber came out of nowhere. Patton wished he could stop to appreciate the swirling fog that snaked beneath it and the beautiful blue paint, but there was no time.

The dream chamber was small, with three walls painted the colour of dusk and the fourth resembling a blank cinema screen.

“He’s not asleep yet.” Virgil explained, running a finger across the black screen. “When he starts dreaming, this will all open up into whatever he’s witnessing. Roman, you need to make sure it’s his lounge. That’s really important. And we need to make sure we jump through at the right moment, or both of you guys will fall asleep and this won’t work.”

“Virg, honey, I really think we should discuss this-” Remy began, but Virgil interrupted him.

“No. We’ve been gone long enough as it is. We need to force our influence on him now. Go and make him sleep. Picani, will you be able to act as a sort of link between ourselves and Remy?”

Patton had no idea how Virgil expected Emile to do that, but the therapist nodded.

“I’m imaginary. I doubt there’s much I can’t do.”

“Good. Remy, go and put Thomas to sleep now. Emile, you need to tell us the moment he does, and then we’ll jump through. Got that?”

The pair nodded, and Remy vanished.

There was a tense moment of silence in which they waited. Patton readied himself to jump, unsure of how much warning they were going to get, knowing that he would be needed in the conversation to follow. Thomas was likely to be in a state, he needed his happy pappy Patton to help him out.

“He’s giving a countdown.” said Emile, his eyes glazed over. “Three, two, one.”

“Now!” Virgil shouted, and the three of them jumped as the black screen in front of them lit up with colour.

Patton had thought it would feel like jumping through a window, but it was more like breaking the surface of a lake. The impact was slight and brief, and the next moment they were standing in their positions in Thomas’ living room.

“Good job, Roman.” said Virgil, darkly, turning to examine their environment. Patton noticed his injuries had disappeared, and wondered if Roman had made sure of that, too. It was a good move, that was for sure, but he doubted he would have thought of it if he was responsible for creativity.

Thomas lay on the sofa. He had obviously been fast asleep, but they all froze as his eyelids fluttered open. He didn’t speak as he unwrapped himself from the blanket and got to his feet, stumbling into place between the three of them.

“I had the weirdest dream.” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. Roman cringed, but said nothing. Patton took it upon himself to speak.

“What was it about Kiddo? You know, I once had a dream about a frog and a snake and they became girl friends and it was really cute but the whole time I was a third wheel, like on every date they would order for two and I would have to go and get my own food.”

“Mine was a bit different to that, Patton.” Thomas chuckled. They all watched him, still not able to work out if he was okay or not. “I just sat on my sofa all day.”

“It’s that what you do literally every day?” asked Roman, attempting to reincarnate his own scoffing charm.

“Well, yeah, but I wasn’t watching TV or anything. I was just - sitting there. And I was having all these weird thoughts but I wasn’t actually doing anything. Like, I would think that I was hungry or tired, but I wouldn’t eat or go to sleep.”

“Sounds strange.” said Virgil, not making eye contact with anyone.

“What do you think, Logan?” Thomas turned towards where Logan normally stood, but his face creased in confusion when he realised the side wasn’t there. Patton didn’t know what to do; none of them did. Roman looked back and forth between the others with a horror stricken expression. How on earth were they going to explain what had happened to Thomas? He didn’t even know he had dark sides.

“Where’s Logan, you guys?”

“Well…” Patton began, looking desperately for the explanation which would freak Thomas out the least.

“Who’s Logan?” asked Virgil, his face blank of any expression.

“What do you mean ‘who’s Logan’?” Thomas laughed at the question. “Logan, Logic, the guy who stands right there.” He pointed to Logan’s empty position. Patton hated the sight of it. He felt his chest constrict as Virgil continued to look confused.

“I don’t think there ever was a Logan. Are you sure you’re okay, Thomas? That dream must have really shaken you up.”

Thomas scratched the back of his head. “But, he was a side. Logic!”

“Logic?” Roman let out a harsh, forced laugh. “I don’t know that guy, but he sounds like a grade-A dork!”

“But you always used to call him things like that! And Virgil, you got on with him really well in the last conversation we had. And Patton, you were always so nice to him.”

“Um- I-” Patton didn’t know what to say. Lying was wrong; Thomas shouldn’t have his own personality lying to him, but he couldn’t just straight out contradict what the others were saying. If this was going to work, if Thomas was going to be okay when he woke up, he needed to lie. There was no choice.

“I’m sorry kiddo, I just don’t know what you’re going on about. Is this 'Logic' a character you want in one of your videos or…”

“No! No! No! What’s wrong with you guys? What happened to Logan!”

This wasn’t going to work. Thomas was panicking. They were fools to think he would just accept that his own voice of reason had never even existed. Why had Janus suggested that they just pretend Logan had never even been here? He had said it would be hard, and that Patton would be needed to help.

“Tomie boy,” he said, softly, “You need to relax. Come on, let’s go bake some cookies and watch some Avatar. That always makes you feel better, right? It’s going to be okay. I don’t know who you’re talking about, I think you must have been having a strange dream, but maybe this Logan might come back at some point? Or you could introduce the character into one of your videos? That’d be fun. Logic is a cool idea.”

As he talked, he could see Thomas beginning to relax. He still looked confused, devastated even, but Patton could see him beginning to contemplate the idea that they really couldn’t remember Logan. He doubted Thomas truly believed he’d dreamed the side, but this was the best they could do for now.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s do that.”

He suddenly noticed Sleep had appeared. He was whispering urgently into Virgil’s ear. Thomas hadn’t noticed him, and Patton made a hasty attempt to get his attention away from Virgil’s corner.

“So, let’s go make cookies! Do you want chocolate or vanilla?”

“We need to go.” said Virgil abruptly. “We’ll be back in a moment. Sorry Thomas.”

Before they could say another word, they were back in the dream chamber.

“What the hell was that?” shouted Roman, waving his arms around dramatically. “It was all going so well! He’ll know something is wrong now that you left so suddenly.”

“We didn’t have a choice.” said Virgil, rubbing his eye where the bruise had now reappeared. “According to Remy, Thomas was close to waking up anyway. Us being inside one of his dreams triggered some defence thingy meant to wake him up, therefore expelling us. It was better we left safely rather than being chucked out.”

“Hmph.” said Roman, but didn’t comment further.

“Patton, he’ll probably summon you to do the cookies and stuff. Okay?”

“Okay.” said Patton, miserably, “Did we really have to lie about Logan? I think Thomas would understand. He accepted you -”

“No. Janus will hide Logan, until Thomas can’t even remember knowing him.”

Patton felt Thomas pull on him, attempting to summon him, and he didn’t resist the call. The next moment, he was standing in the kitchen. He watched as Thomas began to pull ingredients out of the cupboards.

Just as the silence became unbearable, Thomas spoke.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? Something’s happened. I know Remy said that the day of me doing nothing was a dream, but that felt real, and the talk we just had felt like a dream. I know that can’t be true, but it just feels weird. Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Patton sighed. Thomas was so much smarter than the other sides gave him credit for. Either that, or the impact of Logan as a dark side was making him more perceptive. Whatever it was, he had no choice in his reply.

“Everything’s fine, Kiddo. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He felt his heart crumple up and drop to the pit of his stomach.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this made me happy, and then really sad. Enjoy! Also I hope you guys know that every time I get a like or a comment it makes me sooooo happy :))

“I’ve got to say, I didn’t take you for a dancer, Logie.” said Remus, leaning closer to Logan as they spun through the darkened room. There was no music, and they were completely alone. Somehow, it wasn’t awkward. It was perfect.

“I love dancing. It’s a valid method of exercise, it’s a beautiful way to express romance and it’s fun.”g

Logan led the dance, despite being several inches shorter than the Duke. Remus let himself be guided gleefully, grinning all the while. Logan himself couldn’t stop smiling. He was relaxed. He was with someone who was listening to him. He didn’t even need to speak to Remus; the Duke was so attentive to every step and shift of weight that he moved himself before Logan needed to put his instructions into words.

“I’ve never danced before.” said the Duke, hesitantly, taking Logan by surprise. “I always thought it was more Roman’s thing. And anyway, there was never anyone who would want to dance with me.”

“I’ve never danced with anyone before.” conceded Logan, stretching out an arm to spin Remus away from him and then pulling him back and holding him close. “I used to dance alone, in my room. I would pretend there was someone else there.”

“You don’t have to do that anymore.”

Logan attempted to bite back his smile, but failed. “No, I don’t. Re, thank you.”

Remus jolted to a halt, and Logan almost stumbled with the sudden ceasing of motion.

“Why are you thanking me?”

“For listening to me. For understanding. What’s wrong?”

“No one’s ever thanked me for anything before.”

Logan let out a sigh. This man before him had been treated like dirt. He had been trodden down until even he believed his own ideas were worth nothing, and it would be a long time before Logic could convince him that it was worth sharing his thoughts again. He knew that, eventually, Remus could find his way back to the way of thinking he had had when Thomas was a child. The rich, thrilling stories about death and heartbreak and sadness. The stories that, when coupled with Roman’s own ideas, could even stir feelings within Logan. In the meantime, it was now Logan’s job to encourage him and listen to him. To ask him for favours and to thank him. To make him feel needed and valid and loved.

“You could be so amazing, Remus.” Logan reached up, just wanting to touch the Duke, and cupping the side of his face. “You are amazing.”

“I can’t believe you see that.” said Remus, closing his eyes and continuing to spin along with Logan. The floor between them opened up, turning the room into an endless void, until they were walking on nothing, until they could have been twirling through space. Logan knew it was Remus’ doing, and it was beautiful. He was Thomas’ darkness, but there was so much light within him. “I can’t even see that. Maybe when we were younger, and Roman let Thomas listen to me, but now, the best thing I can think of is juicy butthole.” He let out a saddened laugh. “See, I find that funny. I think that’s creative. How the hell is that a good idea?”

“It’s your plea for attention. Your good ideas got ignored, so you turn to radicalised ones.”

“How do I turn back?”

“Open your eyes, Remus. Look at what you’re doing.”

The Duke’s eyes fluttered open and he took in the space around them. The stunning void he'd created with emotion alone. His mouth split open, and Logan found himself unable to drag his eyes away from Remus’ lips.

“But it’s darkness.” said the side, finally, his voice laced with sadness. “It’s empty. Roman would have made some amazing ballroom or something.”

“Forget Roman. Remus, this is beautiful. I can see that. I love it. We’re dancing through space. It’s more than anything the Prince could do.”

Remus smiled, the expression full of fear and hope. “Maybe it is. It is beautiful.”

“It is indeed.” said a voice. They turned to see Janus watching them from the corner of the room.

Logan expected to feel fear, or even simply caution, but instead he relaxed further. Janus’ presence was a welcome one.

Deceit smiled at them, before conjuring a violin and beginning to play. He in himself was stunning, leaving against the wall, dragging his bow slowly across the strings. His cloak swirled around him, despite the lack of wind, and his hat was tipped low over his snake’s eyes.

Logan lent back into Remus and they continued to dance. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so calm, so collected. They danced until the song ended, until Logan could barely remember what it was like to not be so close to the Duke. He was in love, and love felt so right. 

“What do you think would happen if we mixed toothpaste and mouthwash together, then downed the whole thing?” whispered Remus, his voice deep and sensual. "Would you die, or get really nice breath?" Logan bit back a giggle, wondering what on earth was wrong with him. He had one dance with someone, and now he was acting like a thirteen year old with a crush.

“Well, I doubt it would kill you, because both mouth-wash and toothpaste are designed not to be lethal, as it’s easy to accidentally swallow some. However, they both contain a lot of chemicals, so I’m not sure you would come out of the experience with adequate health.”

“But would you get fresh breath?”

“It depends how long you had the mixture in your mouth before you swallowed.” Logan said, considering the scenario, “But mouthwash does have high alcohol content, so you probably would get slightly intoxicated.”

“We should try it.” said Remus, sounding sleepy.

“Yeah, we should.” Logan wanted to stay in this moment forever.

“I’m really sorry to break this up,” said Janus, “But, Logic, can I borrow you for a while?”

“Yes, okay.” Logan stepped away from Remus, straightening his tie. The floor reappeared a moment later.

“I’ll go find some mouthwash.” said Remus, grinning. Logan smiled back before turning to Janus, ready to follow him wherever he wanted to talk. Deceit just grinned and clicked his fingers. Instantly, they were standing somewhere completely different. It appeared like a bar, with a similar colour scheme to the underground hall where the dark sides had kept Virgil. The walls and floor were pure white, while the corners, chandeliers and bar itself were a shimmering gold. Behind the bar were shelves of amber liquid and glasses hung upside down from a silver rack on the ceiling.

“I thought this was a fitting place for us to discuss how we will manage things, going forwards. Does it make you feel comfortable?” said Janus, moving to make his way behind the bar.

“Yes, this is fine.” said Logan, taking a seat on a stool, feeling slightly awkward that his feet couldn’t touch the floor.

“Would you like a drink?”

“Alcohol impairs judgement.” he said, automatically. It occurred to him that the response was more what he knew that he should say, rather than what he really thought. The idea of alcohol didn’t fill him with the disgust it usually installed.

“It won’t get you drunk. Remember this is all imaginary, Logan.” He poured out two glasses of whiskey. “Can I call you Logan?”

“Yes, I am comfortable with my name.” Logan accepted the drink with a nod of thanks.

“Virgil never liked me using his name, and he straight up refused to use mine.”

“I know. He wouldn’t even say it around us. He would always just address you as Deceit.”

“Yes, but enough about him. Tell me, what are you still doing here?” The snake’s face broke into a smile as he leaned over the bar, swirling his drink around in his glass. “I mean, I always thought that you belonged down here, but I would never suspect that you had the same opinion on the matter.”

“To be truthful, I’ve never really let myself think about it. I never agreed with you, as a concept, because I believe knowledge is powerful enough to always be an ally. I know you want to keep Thomas safe and happy, but I see knowledge as more important than keeping things from him. The more Thomas knows, the safer he can be and the more motivated he is. Remus, on the other hand, has always intrigued me. I don’t agree with the path Thomas has taken, but if he is going to do the theatre dancy singy stuff, then he needs Remus' ideas in order to be successful. The banishment of the Duke was our worst mistake to date, and I feel like it can be reversed.”

“So you’re here for Remus?”

“I’m here because I am starting to agree with you and your decisions more than I agree with the light sides. You took Virgil away. I think that was the right thing to do. He came between Thomas and moving forward.”

“Can you feel it? Virgil’s absence?” The snake’s voice dropped to a whisper, as if ashamed to admit the effect Virgil’s presence had on him.

“I feel more relaxed, if that’s what you mean. I have less concerns.”

“For a year, we worried about nothing. The light sides can feel the dark, because it’s like you're on a collision course on the way to Thomas, but dark can’t feel light. It was fine, at first. We barely noticed it. And then it began to weigh on us. There was no danger. No anticipation or excitement. We didn’t think about ‘what if’. We just did things, with no heed to the results or the consequences. It took the life out of living. We need to feel Virgil.”

“Why did he leave?” The answer to that question had always been simple and obvious. Virgil was scared of the dark sides. He hated not knowing when to broadcast his anxiety and hated getting it wrong. But there must have been a reason Virgil left when he did. The side never spoke about the day he’d stumbled into the light realm, but Logan had always wondered-

“Virgil put his own privacy above everything. I felt a need to accompany him a lot, to keep him calm when necessary, to act as something like a parent. He struggled with his identity and with his own actions. He felt regret for his impact on Thomas, but didn’t know how to control it. I tried to console him, while making sure he could still continue to fulfil his role as Anxiety. Remus was something like a friend, but Virgil settled for him, rather than wanted him.

He built himself a house in the middle of a maze and that worried me. I didn’t know if I’d always be able to get to him if he needed me, but I respected that he needed space. Until, one day, when Thomas was taking an exam, he shut himself in his house and wouldn’t come out when I asked. I could speak to him, I tried to calm him down, I tried to scare him into calming down, but Thomas was still struggling. I couldn’t see an option other than breaking through. It got out of control. Remus followed me in, and - well it didn’t go well. Virgil freaked out, and just left. I didn’t know what to do, but by the time I realised he really meant it that he was leaving, it was too late.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“That wouldn’t be a problem for me.” said Logan, at last. “You don’t need to scare me. I understand why you do the things you do. Some things we can just discuss?”

“Yes, I think that sounds acceptable. Another thing, I don’t need to control you. I cannot think of a wrong time for Thomas to feel Logical. You cannot feel his needs as sensitively from down here, but I’m not sure you need to.”

Logan smiled. “You’re right.”

“Come on.” Janus set down his empty glass and walked out from behind the bar. “There’s another thing I want to show you.”

Logan set down his own glass and braced himself as Janus clicked and they moved again. This time, they re-emerged in a library.

It was very different from the other parts of the dark realm Logan had so far seen. The floor and ceiling were made of light, fresh wood planks and there were tall windows interrupting the shelves that covered every available inch of wallspace. Books covered every shelf, their titles facing outwards, all of them vaguely familiar.

“Virgil insisted we keep Thomas’ readings here, rather than where we normally store long-term memories. This is what Thomas remembers of every book he’s ever read. A lot of them are far from complete, but I thought it might interest you.”

Logan walked forwards, unable to believe his eyes. All of these books, saved by Virgil from being locked away. He ran a finger along a shelf of old university textbooks. Chemical engineering. That was the path he had pushed Thomas down, the one that would have brought them so much knowledge and fortune. But Thomas had ignored him. 

As much as Logan wanted to feel happy with the newfound words that surrounded him, with his new love and home to be explored, there was one thought he couldn’t push from his mind.

He missed Virgil.


	14. Chapter Thirteen - Common Sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one makes me sad. Enjoy :)) Just a warning, Virgil recovers from a panic attack in this chapter, but I don't actually describe the attack itself.

Virgil continued to breathe deeply. The attack had long passed, but he still didn’t trust himself to sink back into his usual breathing patterns. His vision was still fuzzy, and he knew it would be a while before he could stand without the fear of collapse.

In the week since they'd returned to the light realm, most of his injuries had healed. He had never been hurt before, not physically anyway, and hadn’t known what to expect in the way of getting better. Turns out, he had improved at a similar rate to Thomas after the ordeal. As Thomas had gotten less and less questioning about Logan’s absence and more focused on other issues at hand, so had Virgil’s cuts knitted over and bruises begun to fade. Now, he was left with the shadow of his black eye. He could see out of it, but the mirror told him it still looked like he’d been mugged.

Despite the injuries getting better, Virgil knew it would be a long time before he returned to any sort of secure mental state. His room, somewhere that had once represented home and belonging, now just reminded him how truly vulnerable he was. Janus and Remus had come here to find him, the one place where they could be certain he would dwell. Now, he felt he had nowhere to go where he could be truly alone, and know he was alone. There was the dream chamber, but Remy and Picani had set up home there. There was the changing room, he could always wish for a lock, but the place had been less and less reliable since the light sides had visited the dark realm.

He used to have plans. He was going to make a new hoodie, the beginnings of which hung abandoned on the handle of his wardrobe. He was going to decorate his room, he had planned to change his curtains into something less scary for Patton. Now, he couldn’t bring himself to roll off his bed. Janus had never let him go. He had simply allowed the light sides to resume custody until he found a way of keeping Virgil somewhere where the light sides wouldn’t try and rescue him. There was no point starting anything new. He wasn’t going to be here long enough to finish it.

His eyes fell on Patton’s card, still slotted in the frame of his mirror, and he felt his chest constrict again. Patton had tried so hard to make him feel wanted, needed, relaxed. He had invited Virgil to join in with them when they hung out in the changing room. He had listened to My Chemical Romance with him, just to be with him. He had found him a fucking therapist! And now Virgil was throwing it all back in his face. Nothing had made any difference. Deceit won after all. Logan was gone, having fallen into the arms of the Duke, and he would be next, wrapped in chains and tossed to the darkest regions of hell.

A knock on his door snapped him out of whatever spiral he had been beginning to tread. Too panic stricken to ignore it, he threw himself off his bed, trusting his unwilling legs to hold his weight. Half walking, half dragging himself, he made it to his door and cracked it open, taking a moment to see into the bright light from the hallway outside.

Emile and Remy stood there, the former toeing the line between jumpy and fearful, the latter bearing a mixture of exasperation and apologies.

“Hey guys,” said Virgil, weakly, pulling the door so they could barely see his face. He didn’t want to deal with whatever they were bringing to the door.

“Hi Virgil," babbled Emile, "How you doing? We just wanted to ask you something-”

“You,” interrupted Remy.

“Me?”

“You wanted to ask him something. I said everything was fine.”

“What’s wrong?” asked Virgil, unable to stand the bickering.

“Well, Me and Patton think everything's completely fine, but Roman and Emmy are freaking out.” said Remy, “He dragged me here to tell you.”

“What is it?” The exhaustion from the panic attack was becoming overwhelming. He was too on edge to sort out problems right now. He needed to crawl into bed and sleep, until he was ready to dig himself out of whatever grave Janus had been working on.

“It’s Thomas.” said Emile, “He’s applying for jobs. Like, chemical engineering jobs. He’s cancelled all his auditions and, as we speak, is re-reading one of his university textbooks.”

“What?” Virgil tensed up entirely. This was - this was a big change. “Why haven’t I felt anything?”

“Because he’s not anxious about it. He’s excited. He wants to change to something more practical. When Roman asked what the hell he was doing, he said he wanted to get a real job.” said Remy, “Personally, I agree with him. This could be good, Virg.”

“Who’s with him now?”

“Roman and Patton.” said Emile, “Roman said he’d summon you once we were done talking with you.”

Right on time, Virgil felt a tug as Creativity summoned him. Without pausing to address Remy or Emile, he accepted the call and appeared in Thomas’ living room. As described, Thomas was leaning over a thick book, tapping a pen against the table as he scanned the page.

“What the hell.”

Thomas looked up, stilling the pen. “Oh, hi Virgil! It’s good to see you, you’ve not really been at the table much recently, but I don’t think I need you at the moment. I’m feeling good.”

“Yes you do need him!” whined Roman, “Virgil, he’s cancelled all his auditions and he says he wants a ‘proper job’.”

“I’ve heard.” groaned Anxiety, rubbing his head. This had to be Logan’s doing; it was the only explanation. Patton was standing quietly in the corner, his face almost emotionless. If Virgil was to put a name to the expression, he would have said disappointment, but it was impossible to tell.

“Thomas, you’ve not glanced at this stuff since you left school. Why do you think you can just get a job? You’ve got no experience, no recommendations, nothing.”

“I didn’t apply for a job, I applied for an internship. I can put the skills I have to use, while learning more so I can regain my edge in the industry.”

“What about your friends? Almost all of your friends are theatre nerds. If you stop acting, you’ll see them less. That, coupled with a full time job with travel and expenses and everything, will have a bad impact on me. Your mental health will suffer.”

“It’s only part-time work. I can still do acting, but I can put my focus somewhere, you know, worthwhile.”

Roman let out a strangled gasping sound.

“I need to go.” said Patton, surprising all of them. He looked around awkwardly, as if regretting having spoken at all. “Thomas, I’m glad you’re so happy with your new choices. Keep reading, Kiddo!”

And he was gone. Virgil had no idea what to say.

* * *

Logan had barely left the library for the week he’d been in the dark realm. He had almost forgotten how intriguing chemical engineering was; he hadn’t been able to put the book down. If Thomas hadn’t gotten distracted, how promising their career could be by now. Thomas would have a real job, and Logan would be respected, taken seriously, listened to.

Remus had spent a lot of the past week with Logan in the library. He had relaxed, with his head in Logan’s lap, and whispered ideas of things the two of them needed to do. Most of them had been horrifying, but a few had given Logan hope. Remus was a remarkable mind; they could discover endless possibilities together.

Now, though, he was alone. The lights outside the underground windows had settled to something resembling dusk, and the lamps inside the library were glowing dimly with golden light. Taking care to replace his book in the correct place on its shelf, he straightened his tie and left.

The corridors of Janus’ lair, as the dark sides called it, resembled a labyrinth. They all looked exactly the same, and Logan was fairly sure navigating it relied solely on chance. He had been spending the nights in Remus’ castle, cuddled with the Duke or testing out some of the theories they had concocted during the day. Logan’s favourite so far had been their experiment to test how fast an object had to be moving to make a human explode on impact. These sort of tests would have been impossible in the light realm, where imagination was restricted to the appearance of the changing room and you couldn’t create ‘people’ out of thin air. Here, you could do anything, without heed for the results or the consequences. It was unparalleled freedom.

He reached a familiar corridor and smiled to himself. This was the route to the surface. Maybe it wasn’t all luck. He did seem to be finding the way out quicker and quicker every night. As he stepped atop the stone and began to ascend towards the ground of the dark realm, he took the time to appreciate the skill in Janus’ work. If Patton hadn’t been so lucky in his assumptions about Janus’ style, they would never have found the lair. It was a stroke of genius.

“Logan!”

Logan turned as he reached the surface and stared at who had been waiting for him. Patton had been hovering at the bottom of the stairs, but he threw himself at Logan the moment they made eye contact.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he said, pulling Logan closer in a bone crushing hug, “You never should have left.”

Logan took a moment to disentangle himself before speaking.

“Patton, what are you doing here?”

“I missed you! The others told me what happened, what you did, but I don’t care! You’re my small smart son and I love you! I don’t care who you choose to love, Remus isn’t that bad, and I understand why you thought Virgil should stay down here, even though I don’t agree with it. It’s not the same without you.”

“I’m sure you cope just fine without me. You never listened to me when I lived up there, why would it be different now?”

“We did listen to you! You’re the biggest reason Thomas is as confident and successful as he is now. You’re the biggest reason we managed to accept Virgil and your facts made me so happy!”

“I didn’t feel listened to.”

“Well, we can change that. I always tried to listen, but sometimes I get distracted. And Virgil was always quite preoccupied with his own problems, but he’s a lot better now. And I don’t think Roman ever believed you even had feelings, but now he knows how you really felt, I’m sure he’d make an effort to listen to you.”

“I’m happy here, Patton.” Logan tried to put sincerity into his voice. “I miss you, of course I do, but the dark sides, they don’t just listen, they understand. They make me feel wanted. As much as you try, I don’t think I’d ever get that upstairs.”

Patton paused for a moment, as if debating whether to go on, before blurting out what he’d obviously been trying to keep to himself. “It’s Thomas. He’s starting studying chemical engineering again, and he’s applied for an internship! He’s really working himself hard. I don’t think you need to stay down here any more. He would listen to you now!”

Logan smiled, trusting Patton’s words. “He’s revisiting chemical engineering?”

Morality nodded, grinning stupidly himself. “So you can come home, right?” 

“No, no Patton, don’t you see? The reason Thomas is cracking down is because I’m in the dark realm. Here, you three don’t have any effect on my impact on Thomas. He has no choice but to act as I would see fit. If I go upstairs, he will sink back into his own ways. If I stay down here, he might continue on this path. He could be amazing, Patton, if I stay here.”

“But - but Thomas might listen to you-”

“He is listening to me. He only seems to listen to me when I’m down here. Maybe this is where I should have been all along.”

“No, no Logan! I want you back. Thomas keeps asking about you. He misses you. What am I meant to do?”

“Erase me.” said Logan, stiffly. “Let him forget me. I don’t care. Now go. You’re probably making him suffer by simply being here. I’ll continue what I’m doing, and hopefully he’ll make something of his life.”

Without another word, Logan turned and strode away. He could feel Patton watching after him, probably wishing he would turn back. He wouldn’t, though. Everything was going to plan. Thomas was going to succeed. It was going to be alright.

* * *

Janus watched Logan leave. He waited until Logic was well on his way to The Duke’s castle before changing back into his own form. Patton was shorter than him, and somewhat less lanky. so Janus was slightly unsteady using his form, wearing his face, but nothing that Logan would notice.

“Well, that went to plan.” He said, turning to where he knew Remus hid, listening.

The Duke emerged, wearing a smile but somehow still appearing sad. It reminded Janus of a clown standing at the circus tent's entrance, watching everyone leave.

“You could have said all of that in your own form. He would have believed you, you would have had the same effect, why shape-shift into Patton?”

Janus tilted his head to one side as he watched Logan’s disappearing figure. He knew why he’d done it; he wanted to create a divide between Logic and the light sides. Logan should think they wouldn’t want him back, if he ever did want to return home. But he couldn’t tell Remus that. He doubted the Duke would agree with how he was manipulating his new boyfriend. 

“It seemed the better way.” was all he said.


	15. Chapter Fourteen - Lock and Key

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I need to add a Patton angst warning here. I also want to clarify that in the previous chapter, the only time Janus was Patton was when in the dark realm, not when Thomas was speaking to the sides. There are going to be two more chapters after this, then an epilogue! Enjoy!

Patton stared at the empty space of wall between his own door and Virgil’s. It couldn’t be. This was wrong, it was all wrong. Logan’s door had always been there, had always been so close. What was going to happen now? Did this mean that Logan had decided he never wanted to come home, or was this Janus’ doing?

Logan’s room was, beautiful, or rather it had been beautiful, with charts lining every wall and the most recent books Thomas had read shelved neatly in the corner. His bed was always made, with the covers tucked under the mattress like in a hotel. The lighting was soft and blue, apparently to enhance focus, and there was always quiet classical music playing in the background. Logan’s desk was easily the most impressive thing in there. As a contrast to the rest of the room, it would be a mess, always strewn with ideas Thomas had thought of late at night and the beginnings of plans he had been focused on before a new obsession took priority. The drawers were full of stories written through his childhood, university essays and discarded job applications. Patton suspected Logan even hoarded some of the poems Thomas had written through his teenage years, the one that Patton hadn’t been able to get his own hands on.

He’d never spent much time in Logan’s room, especially as Thomas had gotten older, but every so often he would go and lie on Logan’s bed, watching him work, wondering at the focus and attention in his expression as he studied Thomas’ plans and decisions. Patton wouldn’t miss the time they spent together, not really, but he would miss having that option. He still couldn’t comprehend that Logan just - left.

No goodbye. No discussion. Nothing.

It wasn’t like Logan not to give something serious consideration before doing it, he wasn’t impulsive, but that almost made it worse. He must have been thinking about leaving for a while, and then when the dark sides took Virgil he jumped at the opportunity. Patton had always tried to listen to Logan, to make him feel understood, but he should’ve tried harder. He had been so focused on Virgil, on making him feel wanted, he had completely overseen how fragile Logan was getting.

It was his job to be positive, to be happy, to see these kinds of things happening and to stop them. He was Morality. He needed to know if something was wrong, and he should be the one to put it right. He had failed. What did that mean for Thomas? Was there any truth in the guidance he had always thought so obvious? Maybe Patton had always been wrong, about everything. He had encouraged Thomas to follow his heart, to begin acting and to leave his education where it was, but maybe that had been wrong. Maybe Thomas should have focused on what would bring him the most success, so he could be happier in the long run. So Logan would be happier in the long run.

But what would that mean for Roman?

Patton sunk to his knees and buried his face in his hands. Unable to hold back the waves of helpless emotion, he began to cry, trying to keep the sound low but only making the choking sobs louder. He couldn’t do it. He was Thomas’ Morality, his heart, his feelings, but he wasn’t up to the job. He was alone and he had failed. Thomas was falling to pieces, and there was nothing he could do. Logan was gone, the last remainder of his presence having faded into non-being. Virgil was so scared he could barely leave his room for fear of Janus. Roman was in being brushed aside by the effects of ‘Logan the dark side’. It was his job to keep everyone working together, and he completely screwed it up. He doubted even Thomas wanted him anymore. He was useless.

“Hey, Patton what’s - Oh.” Virgil started with concern in his voice, but his tone dropped to something unfeeling as he realised Logan’s door was gone. “It’s going to be okay.” he said, uncertainly, moving to crouch next to Patton. 

“I know.” said Patton, plastering a smile on his face and wiping away a tear. He was still crying, he couldn’t seem to stop, but he managed to smile anyway. He needed to be the strong one. It wasn’t up to Virgil to comfort him. “I just miss him. Anyway, how’s Thomas doing?”

“Patton.” Virgil said, his voice firm but kind, “You don’t need to force a smile for me. You’re just as within your right to feel sad as you are to feel happy. I get that this is all a lot. Trust me, I get it. Talk to me.”

Patton stood stock still, forcing himself to continue smiling, not trusting himself to speak for fear of breaking down again. He knew he had to say something, that Virgil was getting more and more hurt by his refusal to talk by the moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to. The pity in Virgil’s eyes was like a knife to his heart.

“What’s going on?” Roman emerged from the changing room, obviously exhausted. Patton should cheer him up, should help him. No side should have to feel sad, not when Patton was around. It was his job to change that. Too bad he sucked at his job.

“Patton’s a bit upset.” said Virgil, helplessly. “Can you-”

“Patton, come here.” Roman moved forwards and swept Morality into a hug. Patton melted into him, loving the feeling of the Princes’ arms wrapped around him, holding him close, but the motion broke whatever restraint he had managed to maintain. Pulling Roman closer, unsure if he’d ever be able to let go, he cried into his friends shoulder. “It’s okay.” He patted Patton’s shoulder gently, rubbing in wide, calming circles. “It’s going to be okay. Look, think of it like this. Logan’s happy now. If his door is gone, it means he doesn’t want to be here anymore. I know it sucks, but you did good, pop. Logan’s happy. Focus on that.”

“He should be happy here.” said Patton, wishing he didn’t sound so much like a spoiled child, wishing he could rise above the emotions that dragged at him every waking moment of the day.

“Think of it like this, Patton.” said Virgil, sounding uneasy, “When I came up here, my room was waiting for me. It was a place for me to be when I needed to be alone. Logan doesn’t need that space anymore. I came up here loads of times before I stayed, and no room appeared for me then. Logan’s room vanishing doesn’t mean he’s not going to come back, it just means he doesn’t need his own space anymore. You’ll still see him, I promise.”

Patton suddenly stopped crying. The inklings of an idea had begun to form in his mind. Virgil’s words had clarified something he wasn’t aware that he was confused about, but now it made sense, and he realised exactly how they were going to fix everything that had gone wrong.

The only issue was how he was going to implement it.

“What is it?” asked Roman, taking a step back and holding Patton at arms length as if he could see the answer written in his face. “Did Virgil say something wrong?”

“Sorry-” Virgil started, but Patton’s excitement was already building.

“No! You didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, you did everything right. Perfectly, even. I know what needs to happen.” He turned, ready to run to the dark realm right then and there, but Roman caught him before he could move.

“What’s going on, Patton? What needs to happen?”

Patton hesitated. He knew the others weren’t going to let him go without explaining his plan, but they wouldn’t get it. Both of them had strong reasons to oppose it, and he knew neither of them would let him take another step if they knew what he was considering. He had to make a choice: fight his way out and try to do this alone, or explain his plan and trust them.

“You won’t like my plan.” said Patton, truthfully. “But once it’s done, everything will be better. You’ll see. Just let me go, Roman.”

“Tell us what you want to do, Patton.” said Virgil, his voice edged with nerves. Patton had a good look at him for the first time and cringed at the sight of him. The shadows under his eyes seemed to be made of more sleep-deprivation than make-up, and one of them was noticeably darker with the remains of the black eye. Even as Patton looked at him, he was sagging. He wasn’t in a state to actually consider what Patton wanted to do. He would just say no.

“Look, I can’t tell you, but I promise you it’ll be good in the end.”

“That’s not enough, Patton.”

“Come on, you know lying to your friends is wrong.” Roman gave him a knowing look, “It can’t be that bad, as long as you’re not suggesting we go and politely ask the dark sides to give Logan back and let Virgil stay.”

“Well, it’s not that…”

“Just tell us.” Virgil’s deep voice ripped through Patton's remaining hesitation and stalling.

“We should invite the dark sides to live with us up here.” squealed Patton, unable to work through his words over his fear.

“What.” Both Virgil and Roman looked at him with deathly blank faces.

“Well, like Virgil said, if they want to stay here, rooms will just appear for them. It's all about what you want, right? That made me think that maybe no one belongs anywhere, if you can just choose where you want to stay.”

“Patton that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.” snapped Roman, “There’s a reason we sent Remus away. Imagine Deceit living here!”

“That’s the thing, though. It would all work. If Janus is here, he can control Remus, and made sure we all listen to Virgil if we need to, which was his whole issue with Virgil being up here, and he can stop me taking things too far with Thomas.”

“Patton what the hell.” Virgil looked like Patton had taken a bat to the side of his head. “You can’t possibly think - they hurt me. They threatened to kill me. And you want to bring them here?”

“They were angry. If they’re here, we will all have equal power. Janus won’t be able to control things like he can down there. We won’t let them hurt you until they understand why you left. Virgil, Janus told me the main reason he was angry was because you took away anxiety from the dark realm. He couldn’t feel anything without you down there. We can change that. We can help them, and get rid of the threat to you, and get Logan back!”

“We don’t want to help them.” spat Roman, his face turning redder and redder in fury. “They’re evil Patton. Evil!”

“And if we take them, we’ll have to take the Other as well.” said Virgil, his voice falling from anger into fear.

“What Other?”

“There were - other things down there. Scarier things. Trust me Patton, it’s a door we don’t want to open.”

“Then we get Remus, Janus and Logan and we shut the door. They deserve the same respect and control as we have! They deserve it all!”

Without thinking, he made a run for it. He knew his plan would work. The dark sides weren’t evil, they were just doing their job, a job that would be a lot less damaging if they did it from the light realm. He was certain it would work. He had known the others wouldn’t get it, but he couldn’t keep it from them.

Roman shouted as Patton threw himself forwards, his arms moving like windmills as he struggled to stop him. Patton managed to evade capture, and shot like a bullet down the hall.

He was going to make it. The others weren’t going to stop him. He was going to take matters into his own hands and do the right thing. It was going to be alright. He would make Logan happy here. Janus would come and stop things from spiralling out of control. It was going to work.

Something jerked him back, and he slammed into the carpet. It felt like a rope had been tired around his waist, stopping him from moving forwards, dragging him back towards the others. Horrified, he looked over his shoulder to see Virgil standing there, his hand outstretched, holding Patton in a magical grip. As Patton watched, Virgil fell to his knees, his face strained with the pain of using whatever power he had stolen from the dark realm. He kept his hand outstretched, however.

“Roman.” Virgil choked, “Get him.”

Roman stumbled forwards, obviously as shocked as Patton was. He strode the distance that Patton had managed to travel before taking firm hold of him. The restriction dropped from around him instantly as Virgil collapsed completely, so the only thing stopping his escape was Roman.

“Roman, please.” Patton fought as hard as he could, but it was no use. The Prince was bigger, stronger, maybe even more determined than him. He shoved Patton past where Virgil was beginning to stir and forced him through his door. Patton had always loved the colourful paintwork, but now he was doing everything in his power not to go into his room.

Virgil got to his feet, swaying, obviously not in a good state. His eyes turned to ice as they found the struggling Patton. Without a word, he took a step forwards and began to join Roman. Together, they forced Patton back into his room, ignoring his shouts and attempts to slip their grip. No words were spoken. None were needed. Everyone had made their points perfectly clear.   
The door slammed shut.

Patton was trapped in his room, the soft lighting and warm feeling of nostalgia eating away at the sorrow building within him.

He slumped against the door and began to sob.


	16. Chapter Fifteen - Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't think of any warnings apart from some mild swearing. This is a painful mixture of fluff and angst. Enjoy! ;)

“So, why do you want this position?” asked the interviewer, still scribbling her notes from Thomas’ answer to the previous question.

“What a good question.” said Roman, sitting on the desk and swinging his legs. “Why do you want the job, Thomas?”

“Do you really want this job,” said Virgil, leaning against the wall in the corner, “Or are you just scared of what will happen if you continue following your current path in life? There's nothing wrong with being scared.”

“Well, I love learning." pressed Thomas, ignoring the two of them. "Since leaving University I’ve followed an entertaining pathway, as you can see,” he indicated his CV on the desk between them. “But over the past few months I’ve found myself wanting something more stable, more substantial and more challenging.”

Virgil scoffed. It’d been three weeks since Thomas had first picked up a book on chemical engineering. Still, he’d been buried in it enough for it to feel like months.

“Okay, and how would you say your past jobs prepared you for this role?”

“Ha! Good luck answering this one, Tom Tom.” shouted Roman, grinning wickedly.

Thomas shot him a smug look before answering.

“Well, in many of my online videos I handle very mature topics that require a lot of research, which I then had to condense into a script that could be understandable to a wide variety of viewers. I’m also very comfortable with public speaking and presentations. Plus I managed to gather a substantial audience, which I tried my very best to connect with on a regular basis, meaning I’ve gotten better at communicating with people very different to me and can handle both praise and criticism effectively.”

“Well, I think that’s everything. Is there anything you want to ask?”

“Yes, I was wondering what opportunities you would have for full-time work, once I’ve completed the internship I mean?”

“If you complete the internship, there will almost certainly be appropriate vacancies within the company made available to you. We like to put our interns first, seeing as we wouldn’t have to waste time training up someone totally new.”

Thomas smiled. “Okay, that’s great to hear.”

The two of them got to their feet and shook hands.

“Too hard.” said Virgil, “You’re holding her hand too hard.”

He probably wasn’t, but the whole experience had put Virgil too on edge to not find something wrong in what Thomas was doing.

They went home in silence, none of them quite knowing how to react to the scenario. It was only when they had settled down in Thomas’ living room that he actually turned round and acknowledged them.

“That went well.”

“Went well? Went well?” Virgil couldn’t tell if he felt furious or terrified. He just knew that he never wanted Thomas to do an interview again. Hell, did Thomas ever need to leave his house again? They had a bubble here, a nice small bubble with nice friends and an okay job. They didn’t need to pop the bubble!

“What didn’t go well?”

“Oh, I don’t know, how about ALL OF IT.”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to get the position. In your mind, the interview going well means it went badly.”

“Thomas, are you really sure you want to do this?” said Roman, weakly. He had been speaking less and less as Thomas had gotten more and more absorbed in his studies. Virgil was worried, but not enough to do anything drastic.

“Yes, I’m sure. Shut up Roman. I don’t get why you were even there. Where’s Patton, anyway? I could have done with some confidence, rather than you two just moping around. I know you said he ‘wasn’t feeling well’ whatever that meant, but I feel like my whole personality is starting to fall away! I mean, first Logic, now this?”

Roman and Virgil glanced at each other. It had been a long time since Thomas had mentioned Logan; they had both assumed Janus had done his job in hiding him. At least he hadn’t used his name.

“I’m sure Patton will be back soon.” said Roman.

“You’ve got other things to worry about.” growled Virgil. “What if you actually get the job?”

“Then I’ll be happy. It’s a great opportunity. I’m just glad I found it at the right time.”

“There’s so much responsibility. There will be new people, unfamiliar concepts, strange places, weird routines. Everything will be different. Look, Thomas, I’m not sure you’re in the right frame of mind to cope with it. I don’t think I can cope with it.”

“I’m thinking about me, Virgil. Not you. If I look after myself, you’ll be fine, right? Isn’t this how it works? You’re part of me, so the happier I am the happier you are.”

“It’s the other way around, pea brain. It doesn’t matter how great your life is, if I’m not happy about something it will be impossible for you to be truly happy.”

“Well then, you just need to be happy for me. Why don’t you go and work on that? I’m going to do some reading.”

“What’s wrong, Thomas?” asked Virgil, softly, although he already knew the answer. Everything. Everything had gone wrong.

“What’s wrong?" Thomas laughed, as if he couldn't believe the question. "How about the fact that I can’t make a decision anymore because half of the things I usually take into account are gone, and those left won’t stop lying to me. I try to be an honest person, but you guys obviously don’t! What does that mean about me?” Thomas was shouting now. Virgil put his hands over his ears, wishing he could just escape, hating Thomas listing his own doubts, his own fears. “You make decisions without me now. You got rid of Logan. You got rid of Patton. I suddenly only want routine and sense in my life. What the hell am I meant to do with this! I’m stuck with the two sides who I need least. Just - just stop lying. That’s not your job. Just make it all okay again!”

* * *

“Do you think fire tastes spicy?” asked Remus, his chin resting on Logan’s hair as he worked.

“Go roast a marshmallow and we’ll find out.” said Logan, brushing the Duke’s cheek without looking up.

“Can I try on your glasses?”

Logan bit back a smile. The Duke was wearing suspenders, an unbuttoned shirt and shorts so short he doubted they even counted as shorts. The idea of him with glasses on was one Logan couldn’t resist bringing to life. Turning away from his book, he took off the glasses and handed them to the Duke.

He didn’t need his glasses, they were just what Thomas felt comfortable picturing him wearing, so he wouldn’t have any trouble watching Remus adorn them.

The Duke cast him a sly smile before putting them on.

Logan found himself lost for words.

“Well, do I look sexy, nerd boy?” Remus strutted around the room in a wide, slow circle, flinging his hips with each step. As he made his way back to Logan, he lent over, splaying his hands on the table behind Logan so he was effectively pinning him to the desk. Lifting one hand, he pulled the glasses to the end of his nose and winked. “Combustion.” He whispered, obviously making his voice as sensual as possible. It worked.

Logan pulled Remus forwards and kissed him. He had never kissed anyone before, had never found anyone attractive other than the Duke, and he had always assumed Remus would be off-limits for whatever reason. Why had it taken him so long to set his own limits?

Logan melted into Remus, letting the Duke’s scorching heat break him apart and pull him back together at the same time, letting himself become nothing but Remus' cracked lips pressed against his own. His heart roared, his insides sparking and going up in flames and dancing a fiery whirl of triumph and relief. Electric spikes dragged through his skin, pulling out goosebumps and making every part of him shiver with emotion.

“Wow.” said Remus, when they finally split apart. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

He was just going to visit. Logan had repeated the phrase about twenty times already, but he did it again, just to be sure. He was just going to visit. He wanted to see Virgil, to make sure he was okay, and to give Patton a hug. They hadn’t parted on good terms. He didn’t want that to be the case between them.

He hadn’t told Janus what he was planning to do. He’d even gone as far as to ask Remus not to tell Janus, which was sure to arouse suspicion, but the Duke had unwavering trust in him. And it was rightly placed. He had said he’d be back, and Logan didn’t lie.

The top of the stairs came into view all too soon, but he didn’t hesitate as he moved from the dark realm into the light. It was a long walk from the staircase to their rooms, and Logan spent most of trying to regain any confidence he had managed to build up on his way up here. He was hoping he didn’t run into Roman; something was telling him that the Prince had a few choice words for him and he wasn’t in the mood to hear it.

The first thing he noticed was the absence of his own door. That surprised him, but he should have seen it coming. The presence of their rooms in the light realm was by no means a permanent thing, Virgil had proven that. Still, he worried what the sight of his door gone had done to the others.

Not pausing to reconsider, he knocked on Virgil’s door. There was shuffling inside before it cracked open and Virgil’s face appeared. It took all of a second for Anxiety to realise it was Logan who stood there. He threw himself back, letting the door swing open of its own accord. It wasn’t until the bed was between the two of them that he stopped moving.

“You’re not taking me back.” he snarled, looking like a startled animal threatened with a cage, “That’s not happening, Logic, so whatever Janus sent you for, you can stick it up your -”

“Janus hasn’t sent me to do anything. I’m just here to visit.”

“Visit? Seriously?”

“Yes, I-” Logan took a deep breath to compose himself. “I’ve been missing you. I just wanted to say hello, and also thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“Janus showed me the books you saved. I never thought Thomas would remember so much. It was your doing.”

Virgil paled. “Deceit knew about that?”

“Of course. He knows everything.”

Virgil nodded, his eyes shifting around the room nervously, as if simply saying Janus’ name would summon him.

“Where are your glasses?” He asked, after confirming that they were, indeed, alone.

Logan reached up to touch his face; he hadn’t realised he didn’t have them on.

“Remus is probably wearing them. He’s gotten into a habit of stealing them and surprising me.”

“Uh huh. Are you two - happy?”

“Yes, we are. I know you are uncomfortable around him because of his sense of creativity, but I hope you understand why I enjoy his company. He offers me something different, someone who I can relate to and a challenge.”

“No, yeah. I get it.”

Logan nodded, smiling. “I’m just going to go and say hello to Patton. We didn’t exactly part on friendly terms when he came to visit me. I want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Patton went to see you?”

Logan turned back to Virgil, confused. “He didn’t tell you?”

“He didn’t mention anything! When did this happen?”

“Seven days ago.”

Virgil paused. “I guess that could work out. I mean, it’d be tight, but he was alone for a while about a week ago.”

Logan was getting more confused with every word Virgil spoke. “Why would it be strange when he’s alone? Was that the only time he was alone that day?” 

“Something like that. It’s complicated, Logan. Look, I’m not sure you talking to him is a good idea-”

“Don’t be silly.” Logan turned and made his way to Patton’s door, raising his hand to knock.

“Roman!” Virgil shouted, his voice wild with panic. Logan hesitated, wondering what all the fuss was about as the Prince came flying out of his room.

“You!” He shouted dramatically, pointing a finger at Logan. “How dare you show your face here again!”

“I’m just coming to visit my friends.” said Logan, coldly. His time away from Roman had done nothing to thaw the ice between them.

“You have no friends here.”

“I don’t think you speak for everyone here, Roman.”

Once again, he raised his hand to knock.

“The doors locked.” said Virgil, his voice tense. “We’re not letting Patton come out.”

Logan turned to look at him, shocked. The idea of locking up a side - it was absurd. What did they think they were doing? Things really had gone to the dogs up here.

“Why?”

“He came up with some ridiculous plan to get you back, and he wouldn’t listen to reason!” The Prince spoke as if what he’d done was completely acceptable.

“What plan?”

“He said we should let the dark sides live here. He thinks Remus wouldn’t be a problem because Janus would control him. Somehow he can't seem to realise that Janus is evil! He hates us.”

Logan paused to consider the idea. If Janus was here, the problem of Virgil not being able to get his say across without discussion would be redundant. He could be with Remus. Janus would make Thomas listen to him, and to the Duke. It could work.

“I think there might be something in that plan of his…” He said, slowly.

Virgil’s eyes widened in horror.

“Not you too!” shouted Roman.

“Logan?” Patton’s voice was muffled by the door and harsh with crying, but Logan could still make it out. “Logan are you there?”

“I’m here Patton. Get back.”

Before either of the others could stop him, Logan kicked into the door. It flew open, the lock snapping with the impact. He lept inside, grabbing hold of the startled Patton. Unable to help himself, he grinned.

“Run.”


	17. Chapter Sixteen - Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This it folks! The last chapter. I hope you enjoy, and thanks to everyone who read the whole thing through and commented, you really make my day, even if most of the comments are declaring me evil. Remember there's an epilogue tomorrow, so it's not quite over yet!

They bolted down the corridor, ignoring Roman’s shouts. Logan felt something powerful ram into his stomach, but he forced himself to continue moving, pulling Patton along with him. Patton was already panting, trying his best to keep up, obviously wanting to escape as much as Logan did, but the others were gaining on them.

“Go ahead.” He said, surprised by how out of breath he was already, “I’ll slow them down.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ve picked up a few tricks downstairs.”

“So did Virgil.” That must have been the force Logan had felt. Anxiety was weakening; he couldn’t stop them with whatever power he'd clung too. “Don’t hurt them.”

Logan smiled. “I would never hurt them.”

He let go of Patton’s hand and ground to a halt, turning to face their pursuers, trusting Patton would continue towards the dark realm. Readying himself, he raised his hands, ignoring the panic on Roman’s face and the sad resolution on Virgil’s. Clenching his jaw, he sent a wave of power flying towards them. It wouldn’t hurt them, but he doubted they’d want to continue running afterwards. Like a wave of water washing over them, it’d leave them feeling chilled and hampered. Enough so that he could escape.

Not pausing to examine the effects of his new magic, Logan turned and began running again, sprinting up the corridor after the disappearing shadow of Patton in the distance. Again, he felt something like a punch to his midriff, and he doubled over, winded, but kept going. Virgil wasn’t going to stop him that easily.

He skidded to a stop next to where Patton waited at the top of the stairs.

“We need to go down.” he said, taking hold of Patton’s wrist again, “They’ll probably follow us, but I think that’d work. We need to talk things through.”

“But - last time we all left it wasn’t good for Thomas!”

“You didn’t mention that when you came to visit.”

“I came to visit?” The others were gaining on them, they didn’t have time for this. Without wasting time answering, Logan lept down the stairs, pulling Patton along behind him. They ran down, taking three or four at a time, more in leaps than in steps. Each jump felt like it was going to be their last, like they were going to tip too far forwards and plummet to their deaths, but somehow they managed to stay balanced. Logan had never felt more scared, and it was exhilarating.

“About a week ago.” he said, his voice jarringly calm next to the terror he was feeling. “You came to see me, to tell me about Thomas and stuff. You asked me to come back.”

“No I didn’t. Logan, I’ve not seen you since Janus and Remus kidnapped Virgil.”

“But-” It took him a moment to comprehend what Patton was telling him. If it hadn’t been Patton who he’d spoken to, it must have been Janus. Of course, it could have been any of the sides, but he doubted any of the others would stoop that low, or indeed have a reason to stoop that low. Janus wanted his trust, so he appeared to him like Patton. “So Thomas isn’t engaging in chemical engineering?”

“Oh, yeah he is, but it’s bad, Logan.” said Patton, almost falling off but managing to keep his footing. They were already nearing the bottom of the stairs. Neither of them had worked up the courage to look back and see if they were being followed, but there were no sounds of pursuers.

“What do you mean, bad?”

“I mean Thomas is really confused. He’s not really listening to anyone, your influence cuts through it all. And then they shut me away, and Thomas only had Virgil and Roman. I think it got even worse, but I don’t know.”

“When did they shut you away?”

“Two weeks ago.”

“Two weeks?” Thomas had been unable to consult his Morality for two whole weeks. “This needs to stop.”

“That’s what I said!” They slowed as they reached the bottom of the stairs, taking several shuddering steps onto the black stone before finally stopping.

“So what did happen the last time all the sides were in the dark realm?” he asked, not shying from the answer but feeling apprehensive all the same.

“Thomas went into a sort of trance. He wouldn’t respond to anyone. The only way we could wake him up was going into his dream and pretending he was awake. It was so wrong, Lo, it was horrible. And we’ve been having to lie to him about you and-”

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” Logan looked round for Remus and found him where he’d left him, leaning against a tree on the outskirts of Janus’ forest, watching for the snake’s approach.

“Re!” He called, and the Duke grinned as he set eyes on Logan. They walked towards each other, Patton trailing nervously behind Logan, and met in an embrace.

“That was quick.” said Remus, running a hand through Logan’s hair and replacing his glasses on his nose. “I see you brought a friend.”

“The others had locked him in his room.” explained Logan, pulling away from the hug but keeping hold of the Duke’s hand. “I had to get him out of there.”

“I think I might have had a bad influence on you, Logan.” Remus grinned wickedly, “You’re positively spontaneous.”

“What’s going on?” Janus seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. The smile encrusting his face didn’t fade as he set eyes on Patton, but Logan could almost see the cogs working in his mind, working out what Logan might or might not know. He decided there was no point feigning ignorance.

“You lied to me. You pretended to be Patton.”

“I wanted you to stay, it seemed the easiest way of testing your loyalties. Besides, I think if you’re going to be a beacon of honesty, you would have told me that you were going back to the light realm.”

“I was visiting. We never agreed that I needed to share every aspect of my life with you.”

“I think we have other problems.” interjected Remus, grinning as if all his dreams were coming true at once. In answer to their questioning stares, he slowly raised an arm and pointed at the staircase.

They all turned, and there were Virgil and Roman. They watched them descending in silence, all of them making their own assumptions about the situation. Logan found it interesting how the image of the two had changed over the past few months. Not so long ago, they had been the bold, unwavering hero and the misunderstood, struggling victim. Now, they were the villains. They were the ones who had forced the rest of them apart, until their one responsibility was in pieces. If what Patton said was true, Thomas wouldn’t be able to go on much longer.

“Do you know what happened when they all came downstairs last time, Janus?” asked Logan. If Deceit did know, surely he wouldn’t let it happen again.

“I was aware, yes. Virgil sorted it out, he did well, but we shouldn’t let it happen again.”

“Do we have a choice?” asked Patton, fearfully. Janus turned to look at him, his smile turning sad as he took in Morality.

“I’m not sure we do. This cannot go on, there needs to be a discussion, but I doubt those two are going to let us anywhere near the light realm. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen here.”

“Can you create something diplomatic?” asked Logan. Roman and Virgil had reached the bottom of the stairs and were already making their way forwards.

“I can do my best.” said Janus. They watched the light sides approach and readied themselves for the upcoming debate.

* * *

Virgil hated this. He hated everything about it. It was all wrong. There was a burning feeling inside him, like a fire that had been gently smouldering for the past month before roaring into life. It scolded his heart and sent smoke to cloud his brain.

He would have said that there was nothing that would make him go back to the dark realm, not after what had happened last time, not after the state they found Thomas in. He wished he could say that, but he couldn’t. There had been no stopping Roman in the split second where they had to make the decision whether to follow Logan or whether to let Patton fend for himself. He wasn’t going to wait behind along, not knowing what was happening, not knowing who might climb those stairs next. Not knowing if anyone would return. He had to protect Patton. Patton had spent so much time trying to make Virgil feel safe and loved, he couldn’t just do nothing, no matter how scalding his skin felt or how scathing Janus’ glare was their eyes met.

It felt like they were walking to meet an army. Just the two of them, the grand Anxiety and an insufferable Prince against an army, an army so sure it was doing the right thing. Janus was smiling, his head tilted in anticipation for the torture he was sure to have planned when he got his hands on Virgil again. Remus could barely stand still. His eyes jumped from Roman to Virgil as if he was trying to decide who to devour first. Logan stood quietly, his face severe, as if he suspected the dark sides would actually take this matter seriously. Only Patton looked scared. He stood between Logan and Janus, hiding slightly behind their shoulders. Virgil wished he could give him a hug. He wished there weren’t so many things in the way.

They stopped several metres away, not daring to go closer. Not that distance mattered here. Janus was in control. They were at his mercy.

“Remus.” said Logan, calmly. A silence order. 

The Duke grinned evilly, his eyes now locked solely on Roman. Virgil tensed as he raised his hand and cringed as the magic struck them, but there was no pain. Just impact. When he was able to open his eyes again, he found he was encased in a class box, alone with Roman.

“What the hell?” he shouted, banging his fists against the glass uselessly, already starting to panic. He could deal with being beaten. He could deal with an argument. He couldn’t deal with being trapped. Being caged. Not being able to escape.

“We need to do this right.” said Janus. “We need to discuss things properly if whatever decision we come to is going to work.”

“I thought you didn’t like discussion.” sneered Roman, obviously doing his best to ignore the cackling Remus, “Isn’t that the whole reason you stole Virgil in the first place? You’re the ones who started all this!”

“We all know things cannot go on like this. Look, this might help.” Janus clicked his fingers.

They were transported somewhere completely different, and horrifyingly familiar. The walls were plain white, with gold highlights bringing hospital-like warmth to the space. It wasn’t the exact room where Virgil had been held and beaten, but it was a near-enough carbon copy to insight fear.

They all sat on chairs in a circle, out of reach of each other. The first thing Virgil tried to do was get up, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move.

“Let me go.” he snarled, straining against the magic that held him.

“We need to talk.” Janus growled back, relaxing back into his own chair. “But, if you really want to, you can leave Virgil. Just know that we will come to a decision, and you will not be counted as part of it.”

With a jerk, Virgil found himself suddenly able to stand. He stood stock still, surveying the room, trying to decide what to do. He turned to Roman.

“Are you really going to play this game?”

Roman hesitated. When he spoke, his voice was full of sadness and fear. “Verg, Thomas can barely look at me. He can barely hear me. I can’t go on. I don’t like it anymore than you, but this has to happen.”

Virgil wasn’t going to be the only one not included. Every bone in his burning body screamed at him to leave, but he sunk back into his chair.

“Now, I suggest we do this diplomatically.” said Janus. “Patton, you will explain your idea, and then we’ll each have a chance to remark on it before we vote anonymously. Does anyone object?”

Virgil did. It was obvious that Logan, Janus, Remus and Patton would all vote for the dark sides to live in the light realm, maybe even Roman. But that wasn’t a good enough reason to throw the whole thing down the drain, so he kept his mouth shut.

“Okay, Patton.” Janus waved his hand at Patton, gesturing him to begin.

“Oh, okay.” Patton shuffled forwards, looking nervous at having so much attention on himself. “What I’m proposing is that everyone in this room lives in the light realm. I know that we won’t all think this is a good idea, we don’t all trust each other, but I think we can all agree that we all want the best for Thomas.”

Roman snorted, glaring at the Duke who smiled sweetly back.

“Janus’ issue was that Virgil wouldn’t always get his point across in an emergency. If Janus is upstairs, he can keep the rest of our mouths shut if that’s what needs to happen. He can also keep Remus’ mouth shut if he’s scaring Thomas, and stop me from taking moral issues too far, and he can make sure Logan get’s the attention we find it hard to give him. I mean, if you ask me, I think it’s ridiculous that the side responsible for keeping Thomas safe and controlling our impact is so far away from all the action!”

“Because he’s evil!” said Roman, waving his arms in the air.

“You said you’d listen, little brother.” sung Remus, his wide eyes gazing at Roman.

“We’re the same age.” Roman crossed his arms and sat back, sulking.

“He’s Deceit." continued Patton, "It’s his job to make Thomas feel good about himself. Maybe his methods could be improved, but we can improve them. That’s the thing. We can change. Look how much all of us have changed through Thomas’ life! Everything can get better, we just have to help it.”

He looked to Janus and nodded, having said all he needed to. Virgil hated the trust in his eyes, the hope that his plan would work, the determination for it to do so. He hated to see Patton disappointed, but there was no way this was going to go the way he was hoping it would.

“Logan, what do you say?”

“I was never happy upstairs. I enjoyed myself from time to time, but I never felt I belonged. Down here, I did, but I think that was more because I was listened to than because it was a home to me. If there was a way for me to get my point across upstairs, I would be happy to return.”

“Roman?”

“This is wrong!” The anger was obvious in the Prince’s voice, but so was the uncertainty. “Everything went right when it was the light sides and the dark sides.”

“But that wasn’t always the case, Kiddo. For most of Thomas’ life, Remus was a light side, and Logan was never happy as a light side. Those labels don’t mean anything. You can’t just put everyone in a box, okay?”

“I know, Padre.” Roman looked helpless. “But we sent Remus away for a reason! He made Thomas suffer. Are we really just going to let that happen? And you know what it's like when Janus comes upstairs, we all go crazy!”

“I would like to clarify that I do that on purpose to keep your attention elsewhere.” said Deceit, calmly.

Roman sighed. His argument was getting ripped to shreds before him.

“It’s okay to get things wrong, Roman.” said Logan, tight. The Prince looked up at him, confused. “It’s okay for your opinion to change. Try and see the good in the situation, rather than wishing we could see the bad.”

Roman nodded, burning his face in his hands.

“Virgil?”

Virgil gulped. He had no idea what to say. What was he meant to say? How could he argue his case? He shook his head, trying to shrink further back into his chair.

“Come on, Virgil.” Deceit’s voice shook through him like wire being dragged along his bones. He had never felt more helpless, more alone.

“I’m scared.” he said, his voice cracking. “You scared me my whole life, and then I tried to leave and you hurt me. What do I do if I have no escape? If I’m living in fear like that, what kind of state would I spin Thomas into?”

“I could promise you I will never lay a hand on you? I won’t come into your room. If you ask me to leave you alone, I would without question. I will force the same promise on Remus.”

“Why should I believe you? You’re Deceit.”

Janus sigh and raised a hand, pulling off his glove and exposing his palm. It was just a gesture, but it was the most honesty Virgil had ever been granted by the side.

“I can only offer you a promise, Virgil. I tried to do what was best for you. Now, I will concede that sometimes I don’t know what’s best, and sometimes you do.”

Virgil nodded stiffly, not meeting anyone’s eyes, not knowing what to say.

“Remus?”

The Duke was the final side to speak. To everyone’s surprise, he seemed lost for words.

“I’m Impulse.” he said, at last. “I say what I think and don’t care what effect it might have. I used to care, but I stopped when no one seemed to care that I cared. Apparently I can change that,” He glanced at Logan, “But who knows?” His gaze shifted to Roman. “The last few weeks have been the best in my life, without question. No one’s ever listened to me before, or liked my ideas. If I can’t change my way of thinking back to what it used to be, am I just going to be sitting upstairs, alone, unable to speak because of Janus’ gag? I don’t know if I want that-”

Without speaking, Logan got to his feel and strode across the room, coming to a stop in front of Remus.

“You won’t be alone. Never. I don’t care what kind of garbage you spew, I love every word.”

Remus jerked to his feet and pulled Logan into a kiss. They all stared as the two wound their arms around each other, pulling the other close. Virgil had never seen either of them looking so - human.

“Okay,” said Remus, swaying slightly as they broke apart, “That’ll do. I’m in.”

“Logan.” Roman wheezed, “Did you just snog my brother?”

“Get used to it, lazer brain.” Logan turned and re-took his seat. “Let’s vote. Who wants things to remain as they are?”

No one raised their hands. Virgil knew he should, he knew things would never be the same again, that he would always be in danger now, that he would never be able to relax, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to Logan, or to Patton, or to Remus. He couldn’t.

“Well, now that’s out the way.” Janus smirked, rising to his feet, guesting to the others to do the same, “Let’s get out of here.”


	18. Epilogue - Laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of cuteness, I'm sorry I couldn't resist a little angst, but I think this lies up the story nicely. Enjoy!

On the other side of the room, Logan, Janus and Remus were playing scrabble. It was a last-resort game. They hadn’t played it much in the dark realm, so it was one of the only games where the dark sides didn't have an unfair advantage.

“I play ‘likable.” said Logan, taking his time placing the tiles on the squares before sitting back and raising his eyes to Janus.

“I add to your likable to make ‘unlikable’.” said Janus, adding the two tiles.

“That’s just lazy.”

“I got a double word score. I’m ahead of you now, Logan.”

“I dislike this game.”

Remus slammed down his tiles on the table. “I play ‘exorcise’ from your ‘i’. I think that puts me in the lead.”

“I really dislike this game.”

“I’m inclined to agree with you.” said the snake, nodding.

“Have you tried Uno?” asked Roman, walking in with his sword over his shoulder and taking a seat on the sofa next to Virgil, being careful not to touch him.

“No.” said Virgil, Janus and Remus simultaneously.

“No as in you haven’t tried it or-”

“No, as in last time we tried it I ended up pinned to the wall with a knife, Janus had somehow broken the table and Remus had disguised himself as a cactus. Uno is not a good idea.” said Virgil, picturing the events and somehow still smiling. Six months ago, the memories would have been haunting. Now, they were just amusing. He really had come a long way.

“You should have been there for Jenga.” said Janus, eyeing up Remus.

“I told you the roof wasn’t high enough. It was you who screwed the game up!”

“You nudged my hand and you know it.”

“Okay, new game.” said Virgil, unable to stop himself from smirking. “Who can annoy Roman most?”

Without missing a beat, Remus threw himself across the table, sending scrabble tiles flying in all direction, and into Logan’s lap, cupping his face in a wild kiss. They laughed into each other, both of them sneaking glances at Roman to see his reaction.

“You look like two octopuses trying to make out!” shouted Roman, screwing his eyes shut.

“Octopi.” corrected Janus, grinning.

“Stop correcting me!”

“Stop getting things wrong.”

Roman turned away to face Virgil, fury etched in his expression, but instead set eyes on Patton, who had somehow gotten hold of his sword and was trying to hide it behind the sofa.

“What the hell Padre, you too?” 

Patton giggled. “I think we’re all pretty good at this game.”

“You need to chill.” said Remy, pulling a Starbucks out of nowhere and passing it to Roman. “Come on, Princy. When’s the last time you had a laugh about something?”

“When I saw Emile sneaking about a hundred more Disney plushies into the dream chamber.” teased Roman, winking at Dr Picani. Virgil bit back his own laugh. They all found the relationship between the therapist and Sleep adorable, even if the two spent most of their time bickering.

“Yeah, well.” Remy crossed his arms, leaning back. “I agreed to one plushie. One!”

“Sorry, I thought you said a hundred and one.” Emile snuggled into his arm, batting his eyelashes until Remy couldn’t hold back his laugh.

“What happens if we blow up this place?” mused Remus from Logan’s lap.

“I don’t know.” said Logan, glancing around the changing room. “I guess this particular setting is only a single possibility of what the room can produce. I imagine if we blew it up, it would just change to another of its possibilities.”

“But would we be able to use this possibly again?” asked Roman, leaning forwards to engage in the conversation. Patton and Virgil exchanged knowing looks. The Prince had forgotten who he was talking to.

“We might just have to find out!” grinned Remus, clambering off Logan and pulling a lit bomb out of thin air.

“No we don’t.” said Janus, clicking his fingers and vanishing the bomb.

“You’re no fun.”

“I’m loads of fun. I just know how to have fun in style.”

“Does anyone else want another drink?” asked Virgil, getting to his feet and checking who else had empty glasses. “Remy? Janus?”

It was only when everyone suddenly stopped talking that he realised what he’d said. Janus. For so long, Deceit’s name had represented giving up, admitting he was a dark side, admitting he was willing to think of himself on the same level as Janus. It had been his only way of separating himself, and he’d clung to it, even now. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and then opening them to settle on the snake. “Would you like another drink, Janus?”

“Uh - Yeah. Thank you Virgil.” Janus sounded as surprised as Virgil felt. In the past, it had almost been a game between them. A sick, twisted game. If Virgil used Janus’ name, Janus would treat him with some dignity. If he didn’t, he could keep his own sense of self-respect, but would still get treated like shit. The game was over. They’d both lost, and it felt real good.

He collected up Janus’ glass and retreated to the kitchen, separated from the rest of the room by an island.

“So, Thomas has got a busy day today.” said Patton from behind him, flustering to restart the conversation and take everyone’s eyes off Virgil. “A big meeting at work and an important audition!”

“He’s doing very well.” said Janus. “He’s gotten a lot of sleep and has taken time for himself aside from his preparations for the two events.”

“I think the meeting will go well. Most of those attention are people he met during his internship, so they’ll trust him.” said Logan, sounding happy. Virgil glanced back to see Remus’ sitting on the back of the chair, his arms wrapped around Logan’s neck in a terrifying lover’s hold.

“I just hope he doesn’t tire his voice out.” said Roman, “He’s nailed that song, but that won’t mean anything if he’s croaky.”

“He knows what precautions to take.” said Janus, “He’ll be fine.” Deceit was engaging in the conversation, but Virgil could still feel his eyes on him. He poured the drinks silently, but paused before taking them back to the others.

He wanted to be alone, but the thought of making his way back through the room of people was too much. Bracing his hands on the counter-top, he took several deep breaths. There was nothing wrong with accepting Janus. He lived here now, and he had done exactly as he had promised. Remus had been kept completely under control. Logan had been able to get his ideas across, to the point where Thomas had completed his internship, and then achieved a part-time job in the same company. The two of them had never been alone together, and Janus had even taken steps to make sure Virgil was never put in a situation where they needed to spend more time than necessary together.

That almost made the situation worse. It meant that Janus really cared, that he wanted to be accepted, that Virgil’s feelings mattered to him. Did that mean Virgil had been blind all those years in the dark realm, or had Janus only just started caring? Both explanations were bad. If he had been blind, what else had he not seen? Was he still not seeing things? And if Janus had only just started caring, he could stop just as easily.

“You okay, hot topic?” came a voice from behind him.

Virgil spun widely, almost slamming into Roman.

“Woah, easy.”

“Sorry, you made me jump.”

“No kidding. Move out the way a mo-”

Roman lent past Virgil and opened the mug cupboard, leaning right to the back and reemerging with a pack of oreos.

“What the-”

“I hide them from Patton. Want one?” Roman offered the packet and Virgil took one, twisting it apart and licking off the creme. “So, you okay?”

Virgil looked down, not quite able to meet Roman’s eyes as he answered. “I’ve been better. It’s just weird. I’ve been so scared since, well, forever, and now I’m suddenly running out of things to be scared of.”

Roman paused before answering. “Maybe you’re not running out of things to be scared of. I still get scared a lot. I get scared Janus will slip control of Remus and he’ll do something to Thomas. I’m scared Logan will get overbearing again and Thomas will completely forget about me. I’m scared we’re making a big mistake letting Deceit get so close to Thomas.”

“Thanks Prance-a-lot. You’re really helping.”

“What I’m saying is you're not running out of things to fear, it's you that's changing. You’re getting braver. I remember when you would have never been in a room with Patton, let alone Janus! It’s you who’s allowing this, Virgil. If you really wanted, you could leave again, and you’d be safe, but you’ve got a family now. We keep you safe, and we know you’ll keep us safe.”

“What if I’m just getting relaxed? I can’t believe I’m starting to get used to them.”

“Virgil, I trust you. I may not understand you all the time, but I know you would literally rip yourself apart to keep the rest of us safe. You need to learn to trust you too. You can keep us safe, and the dark sides know that.” He grinned stupidly. Virgil looked away to hide his own smile. “Think of them like spiders; creepy with too many legs, but more scared of you than you are of them.”

“That’s not true.”

“I never said it was.”

Virgil picked up the drinks and walked back towards the others. He passed Janus his drink, getting a nod of thanks, then recovered his seat on the sofa.

“Lover’s quarrel?” asked Remy, smirking at Virgil and Roman.

“Of course not! We’re a match made in heaven.” joked Roman, leaning into Virgil, being careful not to touch him, and pouting his lips.

“Patton,” Virgil smiled sweetly at Roman as he unleashed his payback. “Roman keeps Oreos in the back of the mug cupboard.”

“You little-” Roman shot to his feet and raced after Patton, who had already jumped over the kitchen island, cackling like a witch.

Virgil couldn’t stop laughing. He looked over at Janus and met his eyes. The snake was smiling too, but it faded as he fixed eyes on Virgil, as if he was unsure how to respond.

Virgil kept laughing. He doubted anything could stop him.


	19. Just Some Notes

Okay feel free to ignore this, just some bits I wanted to say.

Firstly, I really am writing fanfic to improve my writing for my novels, so if anyone has any notes for me it would be really helpful! Anything about my writing style, storytelling, character development, dialogue, anything would be really useful. 

On Monday, I'm going to be publishing the first chapter of my second Sander's Sides fic, so get ready for that! I'm really excited. It's going to be - you ready for this? - An Ocean AU! We're talking mermaid Logan, sailor Patton, PIRATE CAPTAIN ROMAN. It's based off maggie_4_ 's art, go check out her instagram it's really impressive! I'll be updating that every other day because works starting back up and I'm going to be busier. 

Thanks for to everyone who read the fic! I really enjoyed writing it :))

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment anything you'd like to see more of or anything that you think could be improved.


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